Friday, October 2, 2015

Friday Wrapup

Let's get to it!


My family is nothing if not on-trend, as I'm sure you've been able to tell. And this week's book is no different! With all of this "Mars has water, you guys!" news and the Matt Damon movie premiering this weekend, what is more timely than a review of the book upon which the movie is based: "The Martian" by Andy Weir sounds like a must-read, even though it's kind of sci-fi-y (technical term) and I might have to skim over some of the more dense technological descriptions because I just want to get to where Matt Damon takes his shirt off. Wait....

Anyway, check it out here and then browse around for some other reading inspiration!


Couple things from my commute this morning:


Ok, what's going on here? No, I'm serious - what is this. Is that an umbrella head holder? Why would you need this? WHAT IS HAPPENING? Please explain.

And then there was this dog outside of the coffee shop by my office who just made me laugh. He looked so grumpy, wet, and ready for his owner to come on out.

And I love him. 


NO I HAVE NOT FIGURED OUT THAT SONG I HATE. You guys. But I do appreciate the texts, emails, and FB messages trying to help me figure it out. Our friend and neighbor, Olga, randomly just started sending me songs: "Is it LMFAO?" "Is it Flo Rida?" No, but the fact that you're spending any time trying to help me figure this out is the best. 

And while our governor has declared a state of emergency in anticipation of the hurricane, I'm declaring a state of emergency in my brain because I MUST FIGURE THIS OUT. And you must help me. 

But while we're doing that, let's watch the very obvious Video of the Week. Oh, also, CB says that I do it wrong and it's more like I'm doing "The Swim" from the 1950s rather than the Whip it nae nae or whatever it's called. So I'll have to study this video and try again over the weekend. Perhaps there will be video documentation for next week. You're welcome.

Also, I literally sing this to myself all day. I just keep saying "whip.....nae nae....whip, whip...nae nae." Which I'm pretty sure is getting me a lot of respect at work. 

Happy Friday! Happy birthday to my mother-in-law!!! (this is obviously her favorite song.)

Monday, September 28, 2015

Conversations from Cohabitation: Old Lady Edition

So I was making a pb&j for CB yesterday and, as I handed it to him, we had this conversation:

Me: “Do you kiss your sandwiches?”
CB, staring at me.
Me (walking away): “No, nevermind, nobody does that, nevermind….”
CB, laughing: “Oh God this is gonna be good. Do I kiss my sandwiches? Do you?
Me: “No, not, like, kiss your sandwiches. But, like, the bread.”
CB: “Do I kiss the bread?!”
Me: “Yeah, when you put the two pieces together.”
CB: “I don’t even know how we’re possibly having this conversation. So you kiss each piece of bread?”
Me: “No, not actual kisses, I just make a kissing sound when I put them together, like the pieces of bread are kissing. But I don’t kiss the bread itself.”
CB: “Right, cuz that would be a lot weirder than what you’re describing.”
Me: “Nevermind.”
CB, laughing: “I just love that you could even picture me making a kissing noise with my bread when I make a sandwich.”
Me: “I just wasn’t sure if it was a thing or a me thing.”
CB: “It’s definitely a you thing. Most of the things in your life are you things, fyi.”


So last week I was walking down the street and starting thinking about a song that drives me crazy every time I hear it. Except I couldn’t think of the song. Which started driving me even crazier. And so I texted CB.

And then the conversation continued later that evening.

Me: “Ok, so we have to have a serious conversation about us figuring out what song I hate.”
CB: “Ok…but I don’t know if that falls into the category of ‘serious conversation.’”
Me: “You need to help me because I’m going crazy.”
CB: “You’ve literally told me nothing. How can you not know ONE lyric or a melody?”
Me: “I don’t know. But the worst part is going to be when we both hear it and then can’t get it out of our heads. It’s awful.”
CB: “I don’t think this song exists.”
Me: “It DOES exist! I can’t believe it’s not immediately coming to you, this is so annoying! I complain about it every time it comes on.”
CB: “Yes, you’re the one who should be annoyed in this scenario.”
Me, laughing: “I know….but I need you to help me. I won’t sleep otherwise.”
CB: “When did it come out, do you know that?”
Me: “I think this year? Or last year.”
CB: “Ok, so we’ll search popular songs from 2014 and 2015.”

Fast forward through 15 minutes of us googling Billboard Top 100 hits from the last two years.

Me: “Now that I’m looking at the songs that were top hits in 2014 I’m feeling like maybe it’s been out longer? And most of these songs I’ve never heard of.”
CB: “This is going really well.”
Me, reading off the list of 100 songs from this year: “I’ve not heard of half of these people. ‘Silento…..A$AP Rocky…Fetty Wap….”
CB: “You know Fetty Wap. He’s the guy with one eye I showed you a few weeks ago.”
Me: “Oh, right. But I couldn’t pick him out of a lineup. Or any of his songs.”
CB: “The safe bet, in the lineup scenario, would be to pick the guy with only one eye.”
Me: “You knew what I meant.”


Me: “ ‘OMI…..Major Lazer & DJ Snake….Rich Homie Quan…..Silento’…”
CB: “You know Silento.”
Me: “I do not.”
CB: “He sings the Whip it Nae Nae song.”
Me, laughing: “What on earth are you talking about?”
CB, standing up, singing: “Whip…..nae nae. Whip-whip…nae nae.”
Me, laughing harder: “Oh my God, I’ve literally never heard this song.”
CB: “How old ARE you?! There’s a whole dance and everything!”
Me: “What?! Do you know the dance?”
CB: “Of course I know the dance!”
Me: “Do it right now, then.”
CB, getting into position: “I can whip a nae nae no problem.”

And then he did.

Sadly, we still haven’t figured out what song I hate. But now I can’t stop singing about whipping a nae nae. Problem multiplied.

However, I did come into work today and he'd emailed me this without any text. So, you know, it's why I married him.

Happy Monday! 

Friday, September 25, 2015

Friday Wrapup

Let's get to it!


First, I have to give a shout-out to my mother-in-law for two reasons:

1. She has been babysitting R for the last two weeks while I reacclimate to this whole "going to work full time" thing. It's been a huge relief to know that we didn't have to adjust to daycare at the same time as I was adjusting to getting out the door, showered and clothed in non-spitup attire, each day.
2. Speaking of which....this morning I came out of the bedroom and she was like "Is your shirt on inside out?" and I was like "No... oh crap, yes."

So, you know, one of the above reasons is obviously more important. I'll let you be the judge.


This week's book is "Elephant Company" by Vici Constantine Croke.  This is a book my dad told me about recently and I immediately added it to my growing list Click here  to check it out and browse around for other good fall reads!


I swear to God, if anyone tells me what happened on TGIT (otherwise known as "The Night of Shonda Rhimes TV") I will unfriend you very violently. DON'T SAY ANYTHING, people, this is what DVR is for and I go to bed at 8:30!

Also, I had this conversation with CB last night and he is so happy we're married forever:

Me: "Oh, by the way, at 10 tonight you're going to have to choose between watching 'How to Get Away with Murder' or 'Project Runway.'"
CB: "Um, neither of those sound like options of shows I want to watch. Plus, didn't I tell you no more Shonda?"
Me: "I didn't listen. You'll love it! It's like 'Scandal'!"
CB: "No, no more Shonda!"
Me: "Too late. I already set the DVR. So anyway, when you're watching the Mets and that little reminder comes on that says we're taping two shows at the same time and so you have to switch to one or cancel one, pick whichever one you want."
CB: "Or I can cancel one?"
Me: "No, that's an option Fios gives you. Not an option I am giving you. Plus, the Mets game might be over by then."
CB: "Beck, you're saying that, while I'm watching the Mets play towards their first pennant race in years, I have to stop and watch a show about fashion or a show about adultery and murder?"
Me: "Yes. Oh crap, also, I just realized 'Project Runway' comes on at 9 instead of 10."
CB: "Oh good, then I don't have to worry, right?"
Me: "No, 'Scandal' is on at 9. So you can choose between 'Scandal' or 'Project Runway.'"
CB: "Beck!"
Me: "It's only once a week!"
CB: "This is not happening. We need a second tv."
Me: "No, marriage is the art of compromise."
CB: "This somehow doesn't feel like a compromise at all on your part."
Me: "Right. Today is your day to compromise. I'll compromise tomorrow. See? Perfect!"

And now, the Video of the Week. This song came on this morning and I'd forgotten all about how much I like it. So even though the video quality isn't the best....enjoy! Happy Friday, everyone!

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Things I Don't Understand.

So you guys, I think I’m going to start a new series on this blog called “Things I Don’t Understand.” Because the list is plentiful. And nearly every day I think to myself “wait, what? I don't understand.” and then try to figure out what the f is going on. Usually this happens on my way to or from work because those are the hours where I’m among other adults who are doing or saying or liking things that make no sense to me.

Let’s get started.

Sneezing and not covering your mouth. This is something I plan on teaching my daughter not to do as soon as she figures out that, while adorable, her sneezes are grody to others who didn’t birth her. Which I believe comes right after her figuring out that it’s easier to grab things if her hands aren’t clenched into fist form. So, you know, a few more months from now.

But this morning a guy, like, non-adorably sneezed into the subway air and I wanted to wear a Michael Jackson mask forever. I gave him my glaring-est glare, but it didn’t seem to have much of an impact. Especially since I looked for support from my other commuter comrades and they were all busy not caring about dying of typhoid. Or whatever is transmitted via sneeze. I just don’t understand.

Wearing an untied bowtie around your neck. There was a guy wearing a normal outfit with an untied polka-dot bowtie around his neck this morning, you guys. I did a quick assessment to see if he was doing a walk of shame from a fancy night-before, but he had too much product in his hair and a t-shirt on for that to be the case. If it was a walk of shame he’d just take the dumb un-tied bowtie off, no? And you certainly don't do your hair. You're getting the heck outta there (from what I've heard.)

Which leads me to believe it was on purpose. And so I don’t understand. So I googled it when I got to work, as any normal grownup with a life would do, and found this.

And while I've been known to adopt awful, awful trends like rooster hair and pegging of the pants, I was THIRTEEN. Thirteen-year-old people, as a rule, are dumb. With awful taste in trends. I mean, I also thought I would be marrying Jordan Knight so, you know, having rooster hair went with the territory.

I just don’t understand.

And finally….

The song “Can’t Feel My Face.” Can someone with ears please explain this to me? I was listening to the radio the other day and the DJ said that this was the song of the summer. So then, of course, I realized that it was September and I’d never heard the song because I live in a cave of my own self-protection. 

So I texted CB about how I couldn’t believe I’d never heard the song of the summer but also that I couldn’t believe it was the song of the summer because it was awful. He responded that we’re old and should just listen to old-timey music for the rest of our lives because only old people have these conversations. Or something.

But stay with me here for a minute, let’s unpack this one: the band/person’s name is “The Weeknd.” No, I didn’t forget the “e,” they/he did. Why? It’s only one letter, you’re not really saving time and, if anything, are just confusing poor old people who don’t understand spelling things wrong by one letter. It makes my brain hurt.

Also, is this the name of the person singing the song or is it a band? I don’t understand if The Weeknd is a person or multiple people. So I YouTube’d the song and I think he’s just one guy. Who also has rooster hair. Full circle.  

But really, I simply don’t understand. Why can’t you feel your face when you’re with me? Did you just come from the dentist? Have I drugged you or immobilized your senses in some way? In which case, you really shouldn’t hang out with me anymore. Don’t love me, The Weeknd! I’m bad for your face!

I just don’t understand.

Do you? 

Happy Wednesday!

Friday, September 18, 2015

Friday Wrapup

Let's get to it!


Ok, so you can fast-forward through this until about 3:30 and then start watching it, but I have to say that it was pretty spot-on to conversations and experiences CB and I have had.

"A demon banshee-screaming at us." That pretty much sums up parenting! (I'm a phenomenal mother).


This week's book is "Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage" by Haruki Murakami (rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it?) You'll notice a theme - my dad and I are kind of Murakami fans, so you'll see a bunch of his books on here. I haven't read this one, but will put it on my list for 2020 when maybe I'll finish a book (or a thought) again? Click here and check it out! 


And now, the Video of the Week. Found this via my sister and instantly gravitated to it. Check out their story here and then watch the video below. For those of you who don't know, I've played the violin since I was four (though, admittedly, I don't play nearly as much as I should anymore) and was certainly never this cool. 

All I needed were some sunglasses and a
baseball cap and I would've been HIP. 

Happy Friday!

Friday, September 11, 2015

Friday Wrapup

Let's get to it!


You guys, I know! I've sort of sucked at blogging. To be fair, I've also sucked at: showering, wearing clothes without someone else's spit-up on them, sleeping for more than four hours consecutively, and not talking about the number of times the 11-pound person living in my home poops. So, you know, bear with me.


Desperate for some new reading material? Check out the new book review of "Roseanna"and browse around for other fall reading inspiration! Oh, also. Fall? It'd be nice if you'd quit being 100 degrees. Thanks.




And yes!


Hug or call the ones you love.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Conversations from Cohabitation

So, you guys are aware of this hacker scandal thing with Ashley Madison, right? Which is sort of like a really bad car accident but you can't look away, you know?

Which is why CB and I had this conversation the other day:

Me: "Man, did you see all of this craziness with the Ashley Madison website?"
CB: "Yeah, that's nuts."
Me: "I can't believe how many people were on there! I mean, I guess they say that more than half of all marriages will experience infidelity at some point, but still!"
CB: "Yeah, and apparently there were a bunch of .gov and .mil email addresses."
Me: "I know, I saw that!"


Me: "I could't believe how many people used their work addresses. That's just dumb. I would never do that."


Me: "I mean, if you're going to do it, at least create a fake email address, you know?"
CB: "I guess."
Me: "That's what I'd do. I mean, how dumb if I just signed up as me. Way too easy to trace."
CB, staring at me.
Me: "Like, I'd just have a yahoo account or something that you didn't know about."
CB, still staring while holding our daughter.
Me, realizing how this is all sounding: "Oh don't worry, I don't even have the energy to have an affair with you let alone create a seductive online personality."
CB: "So basically you're saying that the reason you haven't cheated on me via a cheaters website is because you're too lazy?"
Me: "Not lazy, tired."
CB: "Well that's a lot better."
Me: "Hey, whatever works, right?"
CB: "Feel the love." 


Tonight, while CB was feeding our daughter, I decided to give him his food options for dinner.

Me: "Ok, so we have the Swedish meatballs with egg noodles that your mom gave us or Chicken Parm. I'd have to cook the egg noodles for the meatballs."
CB: "Either sound delicious."
Me: "Which one would you like?"

Silence while he thought about it.

CB: "The meatballs would be great."
Me: "Really?? How did you not get that hint that I didn't want to make those?"
CB: "Wait, what?"
Me: "I told you I'd have to cook the noodles!"
CB: "Right and I said that either option sounded delicious!"
Me: "Yeah, and you were supposed to know that the chicken parm was easier for me to just heat up."
CB: "But you asked what I wanted!"
Me: "Only to give you the illusion of control over the situation, you should know me better by now."
CB: "Well then the chicken parm sounds delicious."
Me: "Great, I'm glad we're on the same page."


CB: "What would I like to drink?"
Me: "Nobody thinks you're funny."

Friday, August 14, 2015

Friday Wrapup

Let's get to it! Look you guys, twice in one week!


First, some nice, light summer reading! "The Wisdom of Psychopaths"is a book my dad and I talked about last week and it actually sounds pretty interesting....even though CB was like "I guess you come by this hold darkness thing naturally..." after overhearing the conversation. Whatever, psychopaths are fun to talk about!

But check out my dad's review by clicking here and browse around for other summer reading inspiration (and even some that don't include psychopaths!).  Enjoy!


Um, if my daughter has ANY of my genes, when I play Beyonce, it will soothe her soul like it does mine. However, Biggie wouldn't be a bad second place option.


And speaking of Beyonce, I've started going to the gym around 6am every day while my daughter sleeps in with her dad (we use the term "sleep in" loosely these days...). And this song is THE ONE that gets me moving when my body aches from having carried a human inside of me for the last near-year and all I want to do is nap on the floor. Bey's got me.

Happy Friday, see you next week!

Monday, August 10, 2015

The Baby Comes Out of WHERE?

Disclaimer: apologies in advance for those of you who really are hoping this doesn’t turn into an annoying/boring mom-blog. For the next few posts, it might. Because I’ve turned into an annoying/boring mom. I hope to resume my natural position of annoying/boring regular person who happens to have given birth, but that may not happen ‘til September. Oh also, I say “butt” and “vagina” a lot. So you’ve been warned (CB).

So I’ve been out of blogging commission these last several weeks because a human – complete with shoulders and fingers and a whole big head of hair – decided to come out of my vagina and then demand that I feed and bathe and dress her while never once saying thank you or please or even offering to pick up the tab once as a gesture of good faith. And I’ve decided to go along with this one-sided deal because sometimes she smiles at me as if she recognizes that I’m the same person who had that cozy, handy uterus she grew to know and love for all of those months. And her smiles are super –cute, you guys.  

Also, because her dad and I drank too much wine some time back in October and basically created her life, so I’d feel kind of guilty leaving her with a note on the front step of one of our neighbors being like “she’s cute but also can blow gas like nobody’s business. You’re welcome and thank you.” And because our neighbors would probably recognize her as that kid belonging to the sleepy couple that used to shower a few months ago and then bring her back. And I’m uncomfortable with confrontation, so we’ll go ahead and just keep feeding and bathing her so that it doesn’t get awkward.  

Plus, since motherhood has made me a ball of anxiety that doesn’t want to let my daughter out of my sight, it’d probably make that whole “abandoning your newborn” thing a little more challenging. But mainly because our neighbors would totally bring her back.

Which brings me to the purpose of this post: a person grew inside of and then exited from my body and now I can’t sleep/don’t sleep/shower/go hang at the bar because LOVE. And hormones? And instincts. And a lack of prescription Xanax. Which people sort of prepared me for? But not really. Plus I wasn’t listening because it wasn’t happening yet and I’m kind of a control-freak who figured I’d totally ace this mom thing while also being able to shave my legs.  

I have not, if you’re wondering, aced either of those things.

So, in order to continue the trend of giving completely helpful advice to people who won’t listen until after they’ve already experienced something they could’ve avoided had they listened, jeez, I’m going to go ahead and list off some of the things I wish I’d known prior to having my daughter (who I love and adore and am staring at out of the corner of my eye as I type this because, hello, were you listening? I have anxiety issues that are irrational. And because I had a dream about her falling out of her boppy last night and now I basically can’t deal.)

You will catch poop in your hand. This is less something I wish I’d known and more something I just sort of wish I’d known wouldn’t actually be that big of a deal. I mean, I’d rather not hold another person’s poop in my hands, as a general rule. But if it has to be anyone’s, may as well be my daughter’s poop, is my thinking? Basically because I know she can’t help it and would totally rather take care of this whole thing herself, if she’s being honest. But since she’s just now starting to realize that her hands and feet are attached to her body, and still accidentally hits herself in the face at least three times a day, I’ll do the poop-catching until she’s at least a few more months old. Which I believe is what good parenting is all about.

You will love/hate your spouse. Not sure if this is universal, but for the sake of my marriage, I’ll assume yes? Because there are several moments where you will have simultaneous feelings of complete love and absolute hate for your partner. Which sounds harsh, especially when talking about the person you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with and is the father to your child. But, um, it’s true. (oh hi, CB!  You can skip this part, it’s not about you at all so go ahead and just re-read the earlier paragraph on catching poop. I love you. Bye.)

Like, the other day I looked at CB holding our daughter just after feeding her and thought how fortunate she and I were to have him. They were so adorable, he was so helpful, and I had 15 minutes to just sit there and not be a baby-manager.

And then the very next moment he complained about how tired he was (after his 8 consecutive hours of sleep) and if I hadn’t been so ACTUALLY tired from my 1.5 hours of consecutive sleep the prior three nights, I would’ve hit him. And it would’ve hurt for sure, because that was some visceral rage right there.

But then he cleaned her poop-up-the-front diaper and gave her a bath and I loved him wholeheartedly again. Until he left all of the dirty bottles on the counter before heading out to his job where he gets to hang with other adults for eight hours and I cursed his name under my breath so that our daughter wouldn’t worry about being the product of a broken home.

Oh also, he’ll love/hate you right back. So it’s a reciprocal thing which makes it totally fine.

Man, I should really be a life coach.

Procreate with someone you like. Not just someone you love. Because love won’t save you at 4am during gas and screams (the baby’s, not yours – though it’s not out of the question). Like will.

Like will get you to see past the fact that neither of you have showered, thought about, talked about, or even hung out around the idea of personal hygiene/grooming for a few days and it’ll move you right into acceptance that this is temporary and one or both of you (hopefully) will attempt to woo the other in the not-too-distant future. And like will also help you remember that you felt hot-body feelings for this person at one point (which is how you got yourselves into this mess blessing in the first place) and that they’ll eventually come back to resembling the person you married once you’ve used deodorant again.

You will show literally anyone your vagina. I mean, not, like, when you get home and your in-laws come over for dinner. But while you’re in the hospital, prior to giving birth, I assure you that you will get to the point where someone will enter the room and you’ll be like “Do you need to see my vagina? Ok. Here.”

Which is totally weird, I know, but I spent the first three-to-four hours of my 26-hour labor experience trying to be coy. Like, someone would come in to check my cervix and I’d have my knees together, all lady-like, trying to be dainty. And then the nurse would explain that that’s not a helpful position to be in for cervix-checking and you’ll make your husband turn around because the cervix isn’t one of your sexier parts.

Cut to: three hours later when you just stop pulling the sheet back up over you b/c that’s a lot of work and leaning/bending is hard and why fight it?  Here’s my vagina. I’m so sorry, housekeeping-lady-who-just-wanted-to-empty-the-garbage – I have no dignity left.

And most importantly…..

You poop babies. WHAT? Yeah.
Why hasn’t anyone ever, in the history of writing about birth, EVER mentioned that when you’re fully dilating and approaching the time at which you’ll finally get to push out a person, all of your normal contractions stop and it suddenly feels like your baby is about to come out of your butt?

MY GOD, you guys.

To be fair, a friend of mine did mention the pooping babies thing to me about a week or two before I gave birth, but I forgot about it because it sounded gross and ridiculous and it wasn’t happening yet (see above rationale for this). But then it WAS happening and so I turned to CB and was like “Ok, so I know we’ve gone ‘round the bend in the over-share department these last 24 hours, but since you’re the only person in the room, I need to tell you this: I’m pretty sure our baby is going to come out of my butt, and unless I missed something in health class, I think that’s the wrong place?”

And then he went to McDonald’s to get some dinner and bleach his eardrums.

So I texted my friend Beth (the person who’d actually told me this prior to labor):

Me: So is this normal or weird that it feels like the baby is about to come out of my butt?
Beth: Uh, we talked about this. Normal. Call your nurse. You’re about to have the baby!
Me: Really? That’s kind of embarrassing. Plus, I think she’s on her dinner break, I don’t want to bother her.
Beth: You’re having a baby. Call your nurse. Seriously. I can’t believe you’re even texting me right now.

And then 35 minutes later my daughter was born. Out of the normal part. Not my butt. (I think).

So ok, this wasn’t a comprehensive list of things to know, but it’s a list unlike what I’ve seen on all of my mommy blogs. I mean, no offense, but telling me to bring my favorite music with me into the delivery room and having a birthing plan was unhelpful, ALL PREGNANCY BLOGS. Because I assure you that my birth plan would’ve included a lot less butt-pushing and a ton more Beyonce music had this at all been within my control.

Which it’s not. Because it’s about babies. And the only thing you really need to know about having babies is that the control goes out the window once you’re catching poop and showing the security guard your vagina.

And it’s the best thing I’ve ever done with my life, hands-down. And probably the smelliest.

Glad to be (kind of) back! Thanks for your patience, blog-readers!

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Oh, How the Mighty Have Fallen

Hey look! I still know how to use the internet!

Thanks for your patience as I continue to figure out how to not completely mess it up with a 6 week old!

However, lest you think we're out there whooping it up with no time to's a text from earlier today.

Stay tuned, guys! Thanks for sticking it out with me!

Monday, June 29, 2015

And Then We Made a Tiny Human...

...and she was born last Thursday to the two happiest parents in the world. Three weeks early and pretty much the best thing that we've ever experienced so far. I mean, it's Day Four, but I think we'll keep her.

So please stick it out with me until I figure out this parenting a tiny human thing and I'll be back eventually with lots of stories. Holy hell there are stories.

Welcome to this crazy world, Rauri! You've already made it exponentially better.

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Friday Wrapup

Let's get to it!


This week's book (thanks, dad!) is "A Spy Among Friends" by Ben Macintyre. Sounds like a book CB would like so I'm adding it to the list of birthday gifts I can't forget to get him since we'll have a newborn and I'll be sleepy by then. Click here to check it out and peruse around for other reading inspiration!


Don't forget that this Sunday is Father's Day! And this was appropriate, selfishly, for us this year since CB is technically already a dad to a baby still on the inside. Plus, these women were much sweeter about the ways in which they told their partners that they were going to be a dad. I said "Um" and CB turned around from looking in the refrigerator and stared at the pregnancy test that said "pregnant" on it for about a minute before speaking and then I said "Ok, I have to go take another one just to be sure!" and ran back into the bathroom like a crazy person.

I'm a delight. Also, CB was incredibly sweet about it and could not have been more excited or happy (or in shock). And this commercial makes me cry because HORMONES. I can't help it.


And now, the Video of the Week. I just like this song and hope you guys enjoy it, too! Happy Friday, Happy Father's Day to all you dads (especially my own), and enjoy your weekend! See you next week!

Conversations from Cohabitation...and an update

Hi all, just wanted to let you know that it's been quite a roller coaster week - baby is fine, we are fine, but we did spend two nights in the hospital wondering if we'd be parents a week or two early! And yes....I'll tell you the story on an upcoming blog next week! (assuming, you know, that I don't go into labor or something before then). What a ride with this sassy baby!

Thanks for all of your notes, sorry for the erratic posts as of late - might be the case for the upcoming few weeks with baby coming but I'll do my best to keep you updated and share some fun stories in between!'s something to hold you over until tomorrow's Friday Wrapup:

Um, so I don't know if you guys heard about Mary Lee - the 3,456 pound shark that has been hanging out near the Jersey Shore or not, but she terrifies me and should terrify everyone. Except, apparently, my husband. (also, for those of you who don't know, this is Matt Harvey, the dreamy pitcher from the Mets).

Me: "I can't even believe you think I'd ever go back into the ocean with Mary Lee swimming around."
CB: "Becky, she's not that close to shore."
Me: "She was spotted 10 miles off the shore!"
CB: "Do you know how far 10 miles is?"
Me: "We were probably close to 10 miles out when you and Matt made me go into the waves last year."
CB: "We need to work on your distance skills. We were about 10-15 feet from the shore."
Me: "Whatever, I have realistic fear boundaries."
CB: "There is nothing realistic about your shark fears."
Me: "Last year you kept telling me to 'swim into the wave' and I'm lucky that I didn't swim right into Mary Lee's mouth!"
CB, laughing: "Beck, the likelihood of you swimming into a shark's mouth is as likely as you getting struck by lightning while making out with Matt Harvey."
Me: "Um, for some reason it sounds like you're saying that's unlikely. I mean, getting struck by lightning, sure. But making out with Matt Harvey could totally happen."
CB: "Yep, totally. Just like you being eaten by a shark while 10 feet off the shore. Same odds."
Me: "I don't like your doubting tone. I'm a catch."
CB: "Yep, a 9 month's pregnant, 37-year-old catch for a 26-year-old stud pitcher in NYC."
Me: "I'm glad we're on the same page."

Happy Thursday!

Friday, June 12, 2015

Friday Wrapup

Let's get to it!


Thanks for all the kind words from Wednesday's post! You guys are the best.

This week's book is one I had to convince my dad to blog about because he thinks that "nobody cares about this stuff." Um, untrue, for one, and two, I personally know that you guys pick up books that we post about on a regular basis, telling me that there's an eclectic bunch of readers out there waiting for the next review! it is! Click here and check out "The Swerve: How the World Became Modern."


We've got a trend going on featuring sassy girls dancing and making my day. This one has some SOUL. I can only hope that if we have a daughter, she'll have this kind of spirit! (thanks for sharing, mom!)


And now, the Video of the Week. I cannot get this song out of my head and it seems like the perfect way to start your Friday and head into the weekend. Enjoy and I'll talk to you Monday!

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Livin' the Dream

So I’ve obviously been MIA and it’s basically because I’m a creature of habit. And the moment my habits are altered in any way, I pretty much just take a nap and call it a day. Which is a fortunate character trait for my current state of being since I’m basically supposed to be laying still for the next four weeks until a baby comes out of my body.

You see, a few weeks ago I headed in for my regular OB checkup, which at this stage in the game, is a weekly occurrence. I walked in during my lunch break from work, sat down, got my blood pressure taken, hung out, and then found my concerned doctor rushing into the room to comment on my “swollen face and extremely high blood pressure” and immediately ushering me off to labor and delivery.

Which, as you can imagine, did wonders to lower my blood pressure and raise my fragile self-esteem that had me feeling like a bloated buffalo.

And so I casually strolled over to labor and delivery, texted CB and was like “yeah, don’t worry, I’m sure they won’t make me have the baby today, they’re just being overly cautious.”

Cut to: one hour later when the head of labor and delivery was like “so, if this doesn’t get better we’re going to have to induce you.”

To which my response was to immediately looked for snacks in my bag because I’ve heard you can’t eat once labor begins and I HAVE PRIORITIES, PEOPLE.  

But the good news is that they were able to stabilize my bp (by making me lay still for three hours) and sent me home with strict instructions for bed-rest from hereon out – no more going into the office, no more working out, no more….moving. Basically. Until the end of this month when I’ll be full term and can then jumping jacks this kid out of me if I want to. (I mean, they didn’t say that, but I read between the lines.)

Anyway. That’s what I’ve been up to – working from my couch, taking my blood pressure all the time, making a fun little “emergency” trip back to labor and delivery at 9pm Sunday night because apparently being awake makes my blood pressure sky-rocket, and not blogging.

However, I’ll keep you guys posted and will have a Friday Wrapup for you so that we all have something to live for. There’s a new little girl dancing video that I’ve basically watched on repeat because that’s what you do when you’re on bed-rest/your world has become very small.

What have you guys been up to?

Happy Wednesday, everyone!

Friday, June 5, 2015

Friday Wrapup

Let's get to it!


First of all, thanks for sticking with me while I adjust to my new schedule and trying to keep this kid inside of me for a few more weeks! You guys are the best, most loyal readers and I appreciate it!


The book of the week is "Dead Wake" by Erik Larson. My dad has been doing the heavy lifting in the blogging world these days and I could not be more appreciative! Plus, he and my mom read more than any two humans I know, and so I'm glad he's sharing what he's been reading so that you guys can get some ideas, too! Click here to check out the book review and look around for other inspiration!


Um you guys? We totally saw our baby's face yesterday on a 3D ultrasound and it was basically the best. Warning: this parenting thing is going to turn me into an insufferable sap, I think, because I got all teary looking at a somewhat blurry, black and white baby face inside of my uterus. So, you know, this kid is screwed when it comes out and I won't stop smothering it with what I call love and he/she calls "I'll be in therapy until I'm 50 because my mom has boundary issues."

But you know who has no boundary issues? The person who wrote this book.

My baby shower was this past weekend and it was pretty much the best. My parents were in town, our friends and family came out, and it was basically an awesome day. Plus, we got a ton of books so we could stock BC's bookshelf!

Well, last night our friend Beth came over and was like "Wait, did you get 'I'll Love You Forever?' It'll creep you out." And we didn't unfortunately/fortunately. So she started telling us the story about how this mom ends up rocking her grown-a$$ son in his sleep like a creepy psycho.

Which is what I'm going to try not to do to my adorable, in-utero baby when he/she comes out. But no promises because apparently this parenting thing makes you an insane person? Or write/read really disturbing books to your kids.


YOU GUYS. Watch this video if you do nothing else today. My mom showed this to us while they were in town over the weekend and our whole family was in tears from laughter and pure joy over watching this little girl basically slay Zumba. She. Is. The Greatest.

When she claps in the air?  I cannot. I must watch it on repeat. You must, too.

So this is the Video of the Week! Because she's just too much to handle and you will be so happy this is how you spent your Friday. Enjoy!

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Wait, what day is it? is Wednesday and I didn't blog! I'm the worst. And will be the worst tomorrow. But I'll be the best on Friday!

Ok, so this new schedule of mine will take some getting used to but I'll get there soon....

Thanks for your patience!

Monday, June 1, 2015

Good News and Bad News

The good news is, you'll be getting more regular blogs from me in the coming weeks! The bad news is that it's because I'm essentially under house arrest for the next few weeks until the baby comes.


Um duh, I'll blog about it Wednesday!

But stay tuned and thanks for your patience! CB has informed me that my "fans" don't like checking in and coming up empty! (Read: CB wants something to read on his lunch break.)

Talk to you Wednesday!

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Wait...How Old Am I?

The best part of being pregnant is that I can blame this baby for EVERYTHING right now. Once he or she is out, I'm sure I'll find a way to continue to do so. But for the time being, it's quite helpful.

Especially because I think I've actually started to lose it, as evidenced by this text exchange from the other day with CB:

Happy Wednesday!

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

What I Learned by Stalking Rich People

So every day I walk by a bunch of galleries and high-end furniture stores on my way to work in NYC. I glance into the windows and wonder who actually shops there, since everything as far as the eye can see costs more than my month’s salary, I’m pretty sure. But it’s all so perfectly decorated and laid out that I gaze longingly, though I’m clearly not their target audience. I’m pretty sure these places are catering to a class of people who wouldn’t want to hang with me unless they were doing a charity outreach program to people who shop at Target and consider Pottery Barn “a little rich for my blood.”

But as I longingly peer into the lives of people much richer than I will ever dream of being, I also think to myself: Super Rich people are weird.

Because, as you’re about to see on the visual virtual tour of my walk to work every day, super rich people like some wacky stuff, you guys. I mean, this isn't a scientific study, I suppose, but I'm pretty sure the seven pictures I'm about to show you sum up ALL SUPER RICH PEOPLE. Because that's how science and opinions work.  

Let’s proceed: 

1. This terrifies me every day. It's the ad for an art exhibit about a block from my office and it makes me happy that my unborn baby can't see through my skin. 

The exhibit is called "Enchanted Space." However, this photo always gives me "Horrific Nightmares." 

What is happening here? I don't get art and I kind of don't care? I really, really, really hate art exhibits. Like, to the point that I think maybe there's something wrong with me. Because the last thing I ever in my life will ever want to do is go look at art - pretty much any kind. I mean, if you're my friend and you've done something artsy and I'm coming to support you? Cool. But I'm banking on free champagne and hor duerves to get me through the event, and we should both know that going in. 

Even "good" art, which I deem as anything not "modern" and/or made during the Baroque period. I'm pretty sure the last time I went to an art exhibit and spent any sort of real time there is when I was visiting a hot guy I was in love with who lived in Vienna and he thought it'd be "fun" to take me to a super-boring Viennese art exhibit. I woud've preferred just going to have coffee and looking at his face, but instead, we looked at a bunch of paintings of people who looked depressed sitting perfectly still and sometimes eating fruit.

I mean, I just don't get it, and I don't really care if I ever do. And stuff like this just confuses me instead of enchants me. I'm so uncouth! (also, I realize that you don't have to be rich to appreciate art. However, this art exhibit looks so fancy that I'm pretty sure you have to dress up to go inside. Sort of like those stores in Beverly Hills from "Pretty Woman" where she wasn't dressed well enough and so they wouldn't even serve her. I'm guessing it's the non-prostitute version of that.) 

2. This is the first of many random animals that rich people supposedly like to decorate their homes with. This, I think? is a cheetah. Or a house cat on steroids. Or some exotic rich cat found in the wild on safaris that I've never been on. 

It also looks like it's thinking of eating me and so I'm struggling to reason why you'd want this in your living room. 

Do super rich people like to be scared in their homes and/or while enjoying leisure time? Because between the art exhibit and this, I'm deducing that the answer is yes. 

I should have a PhD in sociology, you guys. 

3. It took me a minute to figure out what this was, but it's, duh, giant grapes on a table. 

Super Rich people love giant things! 

But seriously. Where do you put this? Is this, like, instead of flowers as your centerpiece? I'm guessing it goes on a table since the display has it on a table, but it just a grape display table? Because you can't really functionally use that table to, like, work from home or eat a snack. Right? 

And when you visit someone with giant fruit on their table, are you obliged to acknowledge it? Like "Hey, where did you get your giant gold grapes? I've wanted something to complement my enormous bowl of peaches for a while and just haven't quite been able to find the right accent piece." Oh, also, rich people say "accent piece," not sure if you knew that. 

4. Now, to be fair, I'm guessing a super rich person with taste wouldn't have ALL of these things in their home at the same time. Maybe, like, the giant grapes and the cheetah go in your primary home, and the horse heads and the snail (below) go to your lake house? Because that would be too many oversized animals/food products in one place, right? 

But this just creates more questions than answers for me. Is the snail a garden piece? Would you be foolish to have this in your foyer (pronounced "foyAY" if you're fancy) and your other friends would all talk about you behind your back after the cocktail party and be like "Wow, Elaine really has no eye for where that giant bronzed snail should go. How could she NOT know that it belongs in her atrium?" 

And AHHHHHH! Where do the three giant sheep go??? This is getting out of control!!!!

What if you can't afford all three? Is it just not done to have one sheep? Or two? Are they for counting at night? Are these bedroom sheep? I need answers about the giant sheep, you guys! Plus, do you have to buy the sheep pedestal that the one king sheep is on in the display? Do rich people just know these things?? This is so stressful!!!! 

5. And finally, if you're looking for a luxury condo to put all of your giant animals in, look no further than a place that apparently doesn't discriminate against 18th century people, 18th century people who don't wear tops, and the shockingly buff tattoo artist who kind of gives you the creeps because he lives in the garage behind the shop but also is sort of artsy and aloof in that way that college girls really like? They'll totally take all of those people! I really need to get a wig and/or more tattoos. It'll be my key to success. 

Or so I'm guessing based upon this very specific advertisement that just has the website for the condo building and pictures of these people on it. You must just know what to do if you're Super Rich and like to wear corsets while staring at your giant grapes and petting your massive flock of sheep. But I know for sure that they probably definitely like terrifying art exhibits

Is this what rich people in SoHo look like? I'm learning so much on my way to work, you guys! Thanks for taking the tour with me. 

Happy Wednesday!