Things I Don't Understand

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post called “Things I Don’t Understand”  and half-joked that I might make it a regular thing on the blog. But now all joking has been set aside because there are way too many things I don’t understand to put into one post. So there are two below that have happened in the last 24 hours and happen ALL OF THE TIME. Much to my dismay.

Hitting the Elevator Button a Whole Bunch. So there are two kinds of these people: the first is the person who hits the elevator button a ton, even after it’s already lit up. Which is adjacent to the person who watches pots boil and anxiously checks their watch and looks for a train that will never arrive. But the second person is the one that perplexes me more because this person sees you standing there in front of the elevator and goes over and hits the lit-up-already button. This confuses me on many levels.

Do you think I’m just standing here staring at the wall without intentions of going anywhere? Probably not, which leads me to assume that you think hitting a button twice makes it come faster, making you the cousin of the above, multiple-hitter. And you both confuse me because I have no life and spend several minutes each week thinking about you.

Not Silencing Your Phone While Playing Candy Crush on the Train. To be fair, this can go for you playing games that aren’t Candy Crush. But you confuse me because we can all hear you making matches or getting coins or whatever it is that happens in Candy Crush (truth be told I’ve never played it because I’m busy dominating in solitaire.) And it’s super-annoying. Hence the obvious, yet subtle, stare-down I do during the entire ride. It’s the train equivalent to people talking during a movie and me doing the side head turn to indicate that you’re bugging me.

What I do think is strange about me, though, is that I’ll turn off my headphones so that I’m more annoyed by your phone game sounds. Why? Because I like to feed the savage beast, that’s why.

Happy Thursday! (Go Mets!)