Conversations from Cohabitation

Sorry, guys, I was on a business trip last week! I PROMISE I'm back now! No, really!

So, the other day I was blow drying my hair and, unbeknownst to CB, could see him in the kitchen, about to make a sandwich. He pulls out a small jar of peanut butter, opens it, looks inside, then closes it and puts it back. He then takes out the larger, unopened jar of peanut butter and goes to make himself a sandwich.

Me, from the bathroom: “Wait, what did you just do?”
CB, freezing in place: “Woman, can’t I make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in peace?”
Me: “Apparently not since I just saw you take out one jar, put it back because, I’m assuming, there wasn’t enough in there, and take out an unopened jar?”
CB, turning towards me: “There’s not enough in the small jar to make a sandwich.”
Me: “Seriously?”
CB, laughing: “Yeah!”
Me, laughing and shaking my head: “Um, just use what’s left in the small jar, throw it out, and then use however much more you need from the bigger, unopened jar.”
CB: “The big one is opened.”
Me: “Wait, why is the big one opened too?”
CB: “Because I did the same thing yesterday.”
Me: “I can’t even believe we’re having this conversation. You are an adult!”
CB: “Yeah, an adult who should get to make his sandwiches in peace!”

***

Um, apparently I blow dry my hair a lot. Because this next little interaction happened while I was in the bathroom blow drying my hair, too. Also, something important for this - our bathroom has two doors: one that opens into our bedroom, one that opens into our living room.

So, as I was blow drying my hair, I wanted to keep the air conditioning from going into the living room so it would keep our bedroom and bathroom cool while I was in there. As I was going to close the bathroom/living room door, CB came into the bathroom to get a Q-tip from the medicine cabinet.

Me: “Oh, sorry, I was about to close the door. Could you close it on your way out so I can keep the air in?”
CB, going to pull the bathroom/bedroom door closed: “Sure, no problem.”
Me: “No, not that one, the other one.”

So as he closes the other one, I say: “And can you close the bedroom door too, please?”

He does.

As I start blow drying again in the bathroom, I notice that the medicine cabinet is left open. Which isn’t new, but I figured CB did this on purpose to mess with me since I was bugging him about doors.

Me, laughing: “Did you do this on purpose?”
CB: “What?”
Me: “Leave the cabinet door open.”
CB: “No….but I got distracted by all of the other doors I had to close, so I forgot.”
Me, laughing and going back to blow drying with the door closed: "Oh ok."

Cut to: 10 minutes later, as I was finishing up, I thought to myself “ you know, I should go out there and give him a kiss.” And so, I opened the bathroom door to find every single cabinet in the kitchen opened and CB on the couch reading his book.

Me: “I hate you.”
CB, laughing hysterically: “I know.”
Me: “I was coming out here to give you a kiss because I felt bad that we’d been rushing around and I just got home from Seattle and we haven’t had a moment together! But that moment has passed!"
CB, still laughing: “Oh man, the look on your face was worth it.”
Me: “Worst. But no big deal, it doesn’t bother me at all. We can leave them open all day...”
CB: “Yeah, let’s see how long you last.”
Me: “Nope, doesn’t bother me at all…..”

So, I go into the bedroom to get changed and, a few minutes later, come out to find that he has closed all of the cabinets.

Me: “Aw, thanks for closing the cabinets. That was going to be hard to resist.”
CB, laughing: “I know.”
Me, looking at him for a minute: “Wait, why are you laughing? Is it my outfit? Does this look ok?”
CB, laughing harder: “I swear you look good. It’s not that.”
Me: “Then what is it?”
CB, shaking his head: “Nothing…”

So I walk into the bathroom to find the cabinet door re-opened.

Me, from the bathroom: “I hate you!”
CB, laughing: “It never gets old!
Me: “And neither will our marriage if you keep this up!”

Happy Monday, everyone!