Conversations from Cohabitation: The Moustache Edition

Yesterday, I walked into the apartment after the gym and started chatting with CB, who I hadn’t seen since the day before when he went to a bachelor party for his cousin.

CB: “How was the gym?”
Me: “Good! They had that awful air freshener in there still, so I had to pull that out of the wall so I could actually breathe. And someone was on the elliptical, so I did my floor work first and then used it once she was done.”
CB: “That’s good, I’m glad you were able to get the full workout.”
Me, looking at him and smiling: “How are you doing? Feeling ok?”
CB: “Yep, I feel good, glad I got to sleep in.”
Me: “Yeah, I’ll bet.”
Me, walking into the kitchen to get some lunch: “I think I’m going to eat before I shower, sorry if that’s gross.”
CB: “Fine by me.”

I get my lunch and we continue chatting. Finally, he gives me a kiss and I stare at him for a minute and then my eyes get big.

Me: “OH MY GOD you shaved your moustache off!!!”
CB, laughing: “I can’t believe we’ve had three different conversations, you’ve looked right at me, and still didn’t notice.”
Me: “Oh my God you look like you again!”
CB: “Um, apparently you don’t even look at my face when you talk to me. It’s been five minutes.”
Me: “It’s because you look like you and I forgot that you haven’t looked like you for two weeks.”
CB: “Or you look around my face when you talk to me.”
Me: “I suppose it’s possible. But what made you shave? It definitely wasn’t because I hated it. That seemed to fuel you.”
CB: “I probably kept it a week longer because of how much it bothered you.”
Me: “I figured.”
CB: “I just looked in the mirror this morning and couldn’t stand to look at it one more day. I looked ridiculous.”
Me: “As I said two weeks ago.”
CB: “Uh, let’s not forget it took you three days to notice that I had a moustache.”
Me: “So I’m getting better! It only took me five minutes to notice that it was gone!”
CB: “Quite an improvement.”
Me: “As is your face.”

IT’S GONE! RIP, 'stache.