Conversations from Cohabitation

Last night, CB turned to me while we were both playing Solitaire on our phones. Or, as we like to call it, spending quality time together after RJC goes to sleep.

Anyway. We then had this stimulating conversation:

CB: “You play Solitaire on your phone, right?”
Me, holding up my phone to show him: “Duh.”
CB: “Have you ever checked your stats on the leaderboard?”
Me: “Like, my time and how many moves it took me to win?”
CB: “No, no, where you rank with everyone else who plays, not your personal best.”
Me: “Oh. No, I didn’t know that was a thing.”
CB: “Yeah, when you win it gives you the option of clicking on the leaderboard and then shows you the various rankings.”
Me: “Well now I have to play and win so I can see.”
CB, showing me what it looks like on his phone: “See? Shows single draw, three-card draw…”
Me: “Wait, do you play single or three-card?”
CB: “Single.”
Me: “You’re totally cheating.”
CB, laughing: “How is that cheating?”
Me: “That’s not a challenge at all! You literally get the option of all of the cards! No, you have to do three-card. I’d never play with you.”
CB: “Um, it’s Solitaire, it’s kind of the point that you don’t play with anyone else.”
Me: “Whatever, you know what I mean.”

Silence while we both became cooler.

Me: “You don’t have the hints option on do you?”
CB, smiling: “Yeah.”
Me: “OH my god you’re the worst! That’s TOTALLY cheating!”
CB: “No, it’s never even been helpful, it always just tells me there are no more moves.”
Me: “You need to turn the hints off and play three-card. C’mon, step up your game.”

Silence.

CB: “This is so annoying.”
Me: “Three-card?”
CB: “Yeah.”
Me: “I told you. But it’s the only way to play.”

Silence.

Me: “God we’re cool.”

Silence.

Me: “We’re in charge of another person’s life.”
CB: “Shh, I’m trying to win and get on the leaderboard.”

***

This morning, RJC was “talking” while in her crib, yelling (play-yelling, not, like, neighbors-pounding-on-the-wall-yelling), singing, etc. She did this for 15 minutes while she could’ve been sleeping.

Me: “She’s so funny. She fights sleep for no reason, it’s like she can’t not talk.”
CB: “Yeah, every morning.”
Me: “Why is our daughter so crazy?”
CB: “Because she’s biologically half-you.”

Happy Wednesday!