Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Captain Oblivious Strikes Again

Yesterday morning I walked into work and my boss said “Wow, can you believe what’s happening outside?” and I was like “You mean how humid it is? I know. Look at what it’s doing to my hair!” and she was like “Um, no, the big crane and giant mass of sand that’s outside of our lobby.”

Me: “Wait, really?”
Boss: “Yes….oh, did you come in the other way?”
Me: “Oh yeah, I must’ve, I came in on that side.” (pointing to the side where the giant crane is)
Boss, looking perplexed: “Yeah…that’s where it is. It’s really big, I don’t think you could miss it.”

So I walked over to the window and, lo and behold, there’s a giant a$$ crane right outside the window. That I literally walked next to and under. And I legit didn’t see it, you guys.

Easy to miss. 

To be fair, my nickname of life has been Captain Oblivious and I don’t want to embarrass my friends and family by proving them wrong all the time, and so I just roll with it. But also, I worry for my safety? Because it’s not just like I saw the crane, didn’t think it was a big deal, and kept on walking. I honestly walked for BLOCKS on the street that had the crane and didn’t ever see it in the distance...or 5 feet from my face.  And I have Superman vision, as we all know.

Which made me wonder what else I'm missing as I walk obliviously through life, but then I just pep talked with myself and realized that it’s because I’m too busy paying attention to minutia. Yeah, that's it.

Like when CB leaves his giant man shoes in the middle of the living room and is telling me a story about his great day at work and all I can do is fixate on why his shoes aren’t in the closet. Or when there’s a tiny piece of dried egg from his morning egg sandwich left on the stove and I literally can’t sit down to dinner until I scrub the entire thing. Or when I see that a picture frame is a little off-kilter in someone’s home and actually can’t listen to any fun conversation that’s being had because I HAVE TO FIX THE IMPERFECTION.

And then I wonder if there’s medication for this? Also, I'm a joy to be around.

But basically, the pep talk reassured me that I’m a detail gal and leave the big picture stuff to the rest of the world. And also maybe I should seriously consider CB's repeated, strongly worded suggestions that I start wearing protective head and/or body gear while walking through my day. Just in case.

Happy Wednesday, everyone! (look up!)  


  1. Hahaha how did you miss that? It's obviously because you're detail person.

    And seriously, WHAT is it with guys and putting stuff SO CLOSE to the closet or whatever. My husband always puts his clothes RIGHT NEXT to the hamper. Why????

    1. Oh my God I have no idea, but it's ALL THE TIME.