Finally, some Bali blogging.

So people have been asking for a honeymoon blog for weeks, but I’ve been putting it off due to general laziness and/or lack of time. Though lack of time is really just an excuse because I had time to watch six hours of the Scandal marathon while cleaning out our closets, and so really I just prioritized organizing our wrapping paper over you guys. I’m sorry, I’m a monster.

But because it’s been a while since I’ve made a blog containing lists, I decided to list my top five moments from our trip, which I’ll complete with pictures because I’m a blogger of her people (and you guys are super demanding about Bali pictures and need to relax.) Also, since I like to maximize my time between blogging and watching reruns, I’m stretching this out over the next two weeks. So let’s get right to it with number 5:  

Throwing up in the Indian Ocean. It goes without saying that snorkeling is the pastime of the devil. And probably ISIS. Which is why I knew that it was going to be a minor-major disaster to do this as a newlywed, but did it anyway because I was being told that this is what love is. Clearly by people who have never experienced true and lasting love.

However, I’ll go ahead and say (through clenched teeth) that I’m glad I did it. But more because I made friends with the fish, and less because it was an enjoyable experience. Also, fish love me, you guys. I think they smelled my fear and considered it a personal victory that I entered their home without dying on impact.

The look of a natural. 

Anyway, after traveling two hours on crazy Bali roads, we made our way to the ocean, suited up, and headed into the water without having to get onto a boat. Which I thought would really help me out since boats make me think of Orca - the boat from Jaws - which makes me think of Jaws, which makes me think of death. However, what I didn't anticipate was that my body would, true to form over the last 36 years, continue defying the laws of nature and normalness. And so after about 8-12 minutes bobbing up and down in Nemo’s hometown and constantly lifting my head out of said water to make sure I was still super-close to the guide, I started to feel a little funky.  

Pre-funk. That smile is forced, you guys!

Fast forward three minutes later when I was like “CB, I need to go to the shore. I think I’m going to be sick.”

And then fast forward fifty four more seconds, guide by my side:

Me: “I don’t feel so well….”
Guide: “You want to puke? Puke! It feeds the fish!”

And with that vivid and horrifying visual, I fed those Nemo fish like they’d never been fed before. And man, they loved me.

Also, note to self: if fish make you feel icky and you don’t like the water, don’t attract them to you by letting your insides out. It’s terrifying, disgusting, and ultimately not a great way to wow your new husband.

Happy Wednesday, everyone!