Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Exhibit A

The other day I walked into my office, sat down, and turned to my co-worker sitting behind me. 

Me: "Hey, could you do me a favor and help me for a minute?"Coworker: "Sure, what's up?"Me, handing him my purse: "I got my umbrella stuck in my purse."

To which my coworker stared at the purse and then back at me. 

Coworker: "How does this happen?"Me: "I'm amazing?"Coworker: "Or...."Me: "Or, I shoved my umbrella into my purse and then tried to zip it and got the material stuck in the zipper."Coworker: "This is like the time you got yourself stuck in your coat and I had to use a stretched out paperclip to get you out."Me: "Oh yeah, I forgot about that."
And then another coworker with too good of a memory chimed in. 

Coworker #2: "You've gotten stuck in your coat a few times. I remember when Brian spent a good ten minutes getting you unstuck from your own zipper a few years ago."Me: "Yeah, it's why I ended up buying a new coat. I got tired of having to pull it off over my head or pulling it down and stepping out of it."Coworker: "I honestly don't know how you get to work in the morning."Me: "It's not always a small miracle."

Cut to: ten minutes later, my coworker is still trying to unzip the purse, though he was able to cut the umbrella out, which was step one. Also, he started sweating so much from the tugging that he had to take his sweater off. 
Now my umbrella has character.

Me: "I really appreciate this."Coworker: "I think it might be time for a new purse."Me: "No! I love this purse! Plus, my lunch is in there, so we have to get it open."

Cut to: ten more minutes and my coworker finally admitted defeat. Also, he didn't want to be responsible for breaking my purse and having me secretly hate him.

So, after tugging and pulling and pushing and cutting, I was able to nudge the zipper just enough to get my lunch out, which is basically all I wanted, so then I called it a day. However, when I got home that night, I handed it to CB and asked him to take a look at it.

CB: "I literally don't know how you do these things."Me: "I'm a mystery."CB: "And also kind of a danger to yourself and others."Me: "Well, I really don't see how getting stuck in my own coat or getting my umbrella caught in my purse is dangerous to others...."CB: "Because you end up coming to those others for help and we're the ones with scissors and sharp objects in our hands to get you out."Me: "Better than me with the scissors."CB: "So true."

And then, like it was his second job, he removed the tiny piece of material still wedged inside the teeth of the zipper, opened it and closed it, and handed it back without even saying a word.

Me: "If anyone ever questions why we work? This is Exhibit A."CB: "Becky, our whole life is Exhibit A."

Happy Wednesday everyone! 


  1. Awesome. I love the way you can make fun of yourself. Here's me last week, wearing dress pants with a cuff at the bottom, and kitten heel slingbacks.... I go to get out of the car and the cuff gets caught on the lever that moves the seat forward and back, I almost fell face first out of the car. Thinking to myself "God I'm a moron, I ALWAYS do this in these cuffed dress pants" Cut to 30 seconds later, I'm walking up the stairs to the office and my right heel gets caught in the left cuff of the pants. I trip up the stairs, land on my knee and hand. Fortunately pants weren't torn, neither was any skin! Also, diet coke in other hand was not spilled. I walk into my office and tell a co-worker with a SUPER good memory (have em here too!) the story. He says to me "I remember when you did that walking to get the mail and you fell into a bush, only that time you were bleeding" Thanks for nothing JIM! Today, same pants, same shoes, tripped again on the stairs. I will NEVER learn!!! At least you're only a danger to others, I'm a danger to myself. ha ha ha. ---Amanda

    1. Hahaha that is great!!! We definitely understand each other. :-) Don't trip!