Friday Wrapup

Oh good, more snow on the way! I was worried. Let's get to it!

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Let's all sing along!

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This week's book is "Arc of Justice", which centers on a famous race-related trial in the 1920's and "focuses on the history of the KKK, the NAACP, Clarence Darrow, the major trials of the era, and culminates in a good depiction of the trials" that resulted from the initial incident that brought us to that trial in the first place. Click here to read more about it and browse around for some other book suggestions!

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Earlier this week I experienced the best time of the year, which is when a friend has bought some Girl Scout cookies and I go into her refrigerator and eat one.

You see, I pride myself on having the self control to not purchase Girl Scout cookies each year because I realize that some people (i.e. me) cannot eat just one (sorry, Pringles). Instead, I blink and all of a sudden a sleeve of cookies is gone and my stomach hurts and I fall into a shame spiral that lasts until I get a taste for some peanut butter and chocolate again. Rinse, repeat.

ANYWAY, all of that is out the window now that they've created a GIRL SCOUT COOKIE LOCATOR APP. What is this world coming to? And why are we just figuring out that this is what humanity has needed for decades? I need to download that app immediately go back to work and stop thinking about it.

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And now, the Video of the Week! I can't help it - this song FORCES me to bop along, and potentially clap along out in public, leading people to switch to the other side of the street. C'mon, people, clap along!

Happy Friday!

CB is a blog stalker and I won an award. In that order.

So I didn't post on Monday because I was trying not to have a breakdown at work over my computer and phone just deciding not to function. On top of which, I think maybe I'm at the point that my mom calls "over-extended" and so I was having a few mini-meltdowns over the weekend right on into the week. It was filled with fun moments for all, but I'm happy to say that I'm getting back on track and - most importantly - back to blogging! And don't worry - it was nothing more serious than "maybe you need a nap?" and "have you checked the calendar?...." (always good advice).

Also, CB was away for a week and he basically keeps me on my blogging toes because he knows more about what's going on over here than I do. Last night, this conversation happened:

CB: "Did you respond to that Liebster Award you got on your blog?"
Me: "Um, what?"
CB: "Someone who reads your blog nominated you for a Liebster Award. And you have to fill out questions about yourself and stuff. I thought maybe you didn't see it because you usually respond to comments, but her's was 11th and so maybe you didn't have a chance."
Me: "Um, are you my blog stalker? You seem to know a lot about my blogging habits."
CB: "I pay attention."

And so, thanks to Annie over at her blog Hey Annie May, I will provide you all with even more information about myself that you probably don't care to know? Let's blame CB.

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So, being nominated for the Liebster Award means that I'm supposed to answer 11 questions from Annie, who nominated me, and then typically you choose 11 bloggers to then do the same thing, yadda yadda. However, as we all know, I'm totally a rule-breaker and so I'm going to simply answer Annie's questions and then leave it to you, my dear readers, to nominate the bloggers you think should get some exposure.  I have some really devoted and funny readers who happen to blog themselves, and picking just 11 of you wouldn't be fair. Plus, I've gotten this award before so I figured I'd spice it up the second time around. 

Let's get to it.

What's your favorite time of year and why?

Well, typically I'd say winter, but since I don't want you all throwing e-snowballs at me, I'm going to simply say this: I love cold weather. I also happen to love the kind of weather where you have to wear a sweater or sweatshirt BUT you don't need to wear a coat of any kind and it's sunny and you're outside and it's blissful. I believe that season used to be known as "fall" - however, fall in New York is basically really hot until it is really cold, with maybe a weekend of everyone being like "Oooh, I think it's fall!" and then being wrong when it's in the 30s on Monday. 

Anyway, that's my favorite time of year. 

Why did you start blogging?

Because Courtney told me to and I missed the class in school where they taught free will. And if you think I'm joking, you need to go back a few years into this blog and read the truth that is my friendship with Court.

What's the best holiday you've ever had and why?

And by "holiday", you mean "vacation", right? I'm totally bi-lingual. Honestly, the best vacation so far has been when CB and I traveled back to Michigan for a week last summer and we climbed sand dunes and listened to Foreigner at the Cherry Festival (best) and then CB fell to his knees and begged me to spend the rest of my life with him. Or at least that's how I remember it? 

What's your favorite food?

It's unfair and very bossy to make me just pick one. Is "all carbs" a food? If so, then "all carbs." If not, then "all carbs." 

If you could only take one thing on a desert island what would you take?

Though I realize I risk great mockery for this answer, I'd take CB. Because he's super easy to talk to, scratches my head when I'm sleepy, and we high-five over the same things. Basically all the skills you need someone to have when stranded on a desert island. 

What's your job?

Book editor. 

If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

Boom, BALI. Which comes in handy because that's where we're going in a few months! Wish granted. 

What do you like to do in your spare time?

Lots of stuff, but most of it consists of me being in my pajamas, if at all possible. 

What's your earliest memory?

It's a weird one but one of my earliest memories is actually a dream, which maybe isn't a memory? But from the time I was really little, every time I would get a fever (and to this day it still happens when I'm feverish) I would dream that I was in a shopping cart and my mom was pushing me in the cart down the bread aisle of a supermarket, over and over and over again. It's super-weird and we don't know where it comes from, but the memory of having this dream early on (like, kindergarten?) is my actual first memory. Which I realize is super-strange. 

What's your pet peeve?

People who say "hot water heater." It's a water heater, people!!! No need for the "hot!" 

Whew. Thank God I got that off my chest. Thanks, Annie. 

What is your favorite blog?

Honestly, I gotta go with the obvious answer and say "The Bloggess." She makes me laugh consistently each week, which, as a blogger myself, I realize is no easy task. 

Happy Wednesday, everyone! Thanks, again, Annie! 

Friday Wrapup

Let's get to it!

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This week's book is by John Grisham, and if you've ever read or seen "A Time to Kill," you'll likely want to pick this one up, too. Um, also, let's all cross our collective fingers and toes that Matthew McConaughey takes the lead role in this one, too, and that maybe he puts an extra spin on it ala "Magic Mike" and then we can all die happy.

Sorry, I got distracted. Click here to check out the review and discover more great book recommendations!

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So, my dad is more hip than I am on a day-to-day basis, keeping up with pop culture and sports and life in general in a way that has me being like “Wait, I’m the one in my 30s, how do you know this?!” But who are we kidding, that doesn’t really surprise any of us. I go to bed before him, too.

So I shouldn’t have been surprised when he told me about the Evolution of Hip Hop Dancing he saw on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon and Will Smith the other night. I was like “Dad, I’ve seen it and was going to put it on the blog for Friday.” To which he approved, and so here you go.

(also, I thought Sean Connery was in The Abyss and my dad was like “No, dear. And don’t try to confuse your father. It was that guy from Apollo 13.” And then I said Gary Sinese and then he sighed and probably shook his head. I couldn’t see it because we were on the phone, but I’m pretty sure that’s what happened.)

Anyway, enjoy! 

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I don't know why this makes me laugh so much, but it does. Even Brian Williams is more hip than I am! 

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This song popped up on my iPod a few days ago at a time when I really needed it. I love when that happens. 

And when I first heard this nearly 20 years ago (Jesus), I was like "I totally get it." And now I listen and laugh and think "Wow, if only I'd known...."

Except I still don't always read the instructions. Everyone has their crosses to bear. 

Enjoy. And put it on repeat. I swear it'll help. 

Happy Friday, everyone!

I'm a sleep magician.

Let’s get real: if we’ve been paying attention over the last few years, we can pretty much all come to an agreement that CB is vying for some sort of Sainthood medal or really believes that martyrdom is his ticket into the pearly gates or something. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m a total catch – but I’m also kind of a handful sometimes if you don’t quite know what to make of me.

Luckily for all involved parties, CB totally gets it. And had lots of practice years before our courtship to figure it all out so that he could come to the obvious conclusion: “I want me some more of that.” So, when he sometimes rolls his eyes and/or grumbles under his breath as I make a simple request like “Scoot over to the corner of the couch so I can lay on your lap,”  I do not feel all that bad – I mean, he had to see this one coming.

However, I must admit that, day-to-day, I find a number of reasons to be thankful that CB signed on up – from waking up to find that he’s already fed the cat so I can sleep an extra five minutes, to a Beyonce-themed, home-cooked dinner that I was surprised with last week.

You've gotta admit, the kid is good. 

But whatever, he doesn’t have it too badly, either, so let’s just slow our roll. I cook, I clean, I leave him sticky notes with love-y notes and smiley faces on the mirror for him to wake up to, and I haven’t broken up with him even though his giant boots are in front of the door every single day just waiting for me to trip over and break my neck. And I never, ever bring that up to him because I pick and choose my battles like any good partner does.  

Um, but then this morning he totally won. (and yes, of course marriage and partnership is a contest. No duh.)

And how, you ask, did he win?

Because the other day I was laughing about how every single morning I wake up to find that I’ve somehow removed the pillow case from the pillow I put between my knees while I sleep. I mean, if I tried to do this with just my legs during my waking hours, I’d totally fail. However, when I fall asleep, I apparently become a magician with powers greater than any of us can comprehend. I wouldn’t be surprised if a rabbit emerged from that pillowcase while we’re all sleeping.

I’m just saying.

But then CB dropped a bomb on me that blew my mind:

CB: “You also do that scratching thing in your sleep. You’re a very active sleeper.”
Me: “Wait, what scratching thing?”
CB: “A few times a week, at least, you’ll go to roll over and just start scratching your arms for a minute or two and then stop.”
Me: “Wait, WHAT? I scratch myself in my sleep?”
CB, laughing: “Yep, all the time.”
Me: “That can’t be true.”
CB: “It’s true! The first few times you did it, I thought you were awake. But then I’d talk to you and you were totally out and I finally realized that it’s just one of your sleeping rituals.”
Me: “I don’t know how that’s possible.”
CB: “I swear! Next time you do it, I’ll videotape you.”

Cut to:

This morning. I woke up, checked my phone, and saw that I had a text message from CB that was sent to me last night at 10:38pm. I’d been asleep for an hour.

Oh my God, you guys!

Me: “This is the most insane thing I’ve ever seen!”
CB: “I told you.”
Me: “I’m like one of those people who sleep-eats. But I sleep-scratch!”
CB: “Yep. All the time.”
Me: “Oh my God. I don’t know how you go to sleep with me every night. Between the sleep scratching and that eye mask, what on earth are you thinking?”
CB, laughing: “You’re a keeper.”

No, CB, you’re a keeper. You win.

Happy Wednesday, everyone!  

Friday Wrapup

Happy Valentine's Day! And if you're one of those people who hates the holiday well, then, I'm sorry. And maybe quit reading. Because it's not like I'm crazy about it in the way that I expect CB to buy me presents and fawn over me all day - though, of course, it's his choice how he'd like to celebrate - but I just really love love. And I love red and pink and hearts and candy. And so it's sort of right up my alley? Especially because I don't use Valentine's Day as the one day a year to express love - um, I do that every day and CB is like "No seriously, can you please move now so I can watch the Olympics?" But I see no problem with having a day set aside to make sure you DO!

So...go hug someone you love. And, you know, if they love you back it will likely help you not get arrested. Let's get to it!

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Are you guys watching the Olympics? I've watched some - like those crazy people who do the skeleton or the adorable US figure skater guy who I want to go dancing with when he's back from Sochi?

But I will have to give it to the snowboarders for having the cool factor like no other (sorry, curling team). For those of you who didn't see Kate Hansen's warmup dance to Beyonce (unfortunately, we can't hear what she can hear...but we're gold it's Beyonce. Obviously.), enjoy.

She and the adorable figure skater guy should go clubbing!

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Well, this is just about the best thing I've ever seen. 

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And now the book of the week! Click here to check it out (I actually wrote one this time, you guys!) and peruse the site for more inspiration!

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This was sent to me this morning and it seemed appropriate. 

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And now, the Video of the Week. This is an older song, but it's one of my favorites and very appropriate (as far as I'm concerned) for the spirit of love that is so obviously swarming around us all today. You're welcome. 

Conversations from Cohabitation: The Romance Version

In honor of the pending day of valentine’s on Friday, I thought I’d share this mushy conversation from last night.

While watching a commercial for a new movie called “Endless Love”:

Me: “God, this movie makes me angry every time I see the commercial.”
CB: “Yeah, it pretty much looks like the worst.”
Me: “He says ‘I know I’m not good enough for you, but I’ll spend the rest of my life proving that I am.’ Um, first of all, that makes no sense. Second of all, I’m offended as someone who appreciates good writing. Literally Oliver* could write that line and make it more convincing. If he knows he’s not good enough for her, then how will he prove he is?”
CB: “I know, this is basically the same movie repackaged every few years with just worse and worse actors each time.”
Me: “Yep. Boy from the ‘wrong side of town’ falls in love with what I’m guessing is a girl from a rich family whose father doesn’t approve.”
CB: “Exactly!”

Pause.

Me: “Man, we are fired up over a movie for a demographic of people that is 20 years younger than us. Which makes us losers.”
CB, not listening: “But beyond the terrible writing, it’s not even reality.”
Me: “Well, but neither is ‘Sleepless in Seattle’ and that’s an incredible piece of cinema.”
CB: “ I mean, 20 years from now she’s going to be bored out of her mind because she realizes her father was right and he is a loser, and he’s going to be miserable because she’s become a nightmare to live with. And then they’re just going to be like ‘Why were we so stupid when we were 17?’ and nobody will even want to listen to them because they’ll be the worst.”
Me: “Aw CB, you old romantic, you.”

*our cat

And if you’d like to read more about my opinions about what makes a good or bad Valentine’s Day, click here for my previous post! 

Let's face it - we've all been this guy.

Basically, the whole world of people can be summed up into about five groups. More or less. I mean, it’s not a scientific study or anything, but it’s something I observed while commuting to work this morning, and so I’d feel pretty confident in spreading this theory around with little to no additional research needed. To be fair, I’m talking about five groups in mild-to-moderately stressful and/or annoying situations. Which, if we’re being fair, is when you see our true colors anyway.

You see, this morning I got down to the subway station to find a crowd of about 50-60 people crammed into the vestibule, blocked by a police officer who wasn’t allowing anyone through the turnstiles. Turns out there was a problem with some other trains and so everyone was getting diverted through this station and there were too many people on the platform for all of us to fit. So, they were holding us off until they cleared that all up. Fine. No problem. It’s Monday morning, after all, what’s the rush?

And while this only took about 10-15 additional minutes of our time, it became pretty clear that the natives would be getting restless after about 17 seconds of any type of holdup. So I decided to become a sociological observer and jot this all down into my phone while passing the time judging others from my high horse in the sky. Obviously.

Let’s take a look, shall we?  

The guy who goes ahead anyway.  This guy can be found in pretty much any group of people. And you’ll know him because he’ll spend a good deal of time pushing past the enormous group all stopped for a reason he has yet to become privy to and/or has zero interest in hearing. He’s got places to go and people to see, and so when he gets to the front he is STUNNED to find that he, too, is disallowed from entering the station. Without fail, this guy will legitimately be surprised that the swarms of people he pushed through to get to this point did not all have a collective stroke and were, instead, actually not moving ahead for a reason.

This is my least favorite guy. Mainly because I’ve been him before and you’re basically the worst.

The person who yells for information every few minutes.  This person can be both helpful and a hindrance to the group all at once. You see, this person starts off being incredibly helpful.

“Can you tell us what’s going on?”

I mean, this is a valid question that likely got answered 30 seconds before we got down there. However, if nobody has decided that an explanatory loop on a loud speaker is required, this poor Port Authority police officer will need to reiterate this information approximately every 45-92 seconds. Sorry, guy.

However, once this person gets us all some valuable information, the rest of us sink into the knowledge that we’ll be standing here until we don’t anymore. I mean, this isn’t “Braveheart,” we’re not likely to charge the turnstiles and declare our freedom from the tyranny of the Port Authority Police Department.

Except this guy. This guy is like (insert exasperation here) “How much longer?” to no avail because everyone from parents driving a car to this poor policeman in the PATH station is like “oh my God I’m turning this car around if you ask me that one more time.”

And sometimes - depending on a variety of factors that include how much sleep they’ve gotten, how cold/hot it is, and whether they’re fighting with their girlfriend or boss – this person will become the next guy on this list after just a few short minutes.

The guy who randomly yells in exasperation. This guy is tied for my favorite. Basically because I’d never have the upbringing or the balls to just randomly yell at and around strangers about my displeasure over a situation. I’m guessing that this person is that kid in the grocery store whose parents gave him cookies right out of the shopping cart just to shut him up, so he learned early and often that being a dick would get him far in life.

However, I must admit that I’m mildly humored by the fact that they will just start yelling random things into the ether about any feeling they may be experiencing.

“It’s f’ing cold, man, let us in.”

“This is bullsh*t man, BULLsh*t.” (indeed)

“Is this for real?” (seems like a question that doesn’t expect an answer, right?)

“I have to get to work, dude, HOW much longer?”

Also, sometimes they are speaking your truth – albeit with a few thrown in expletives here and there – and so you secretly are like “I’m really glad your parents failed at the manners aspect of your upbringing because this is a glorious and slightly uncomfortable moment for us all now.”

Which leads me to the most annoying person to enter the room….

The guy talking loudly on their phone. First of all, this person bugs me because they have a better phone carrier than I do. My phone never works underground, and so how are you able to call your boss, best friend, AND your mom all while I’m re-listening to old podcasts because my phone stopped updating the new ones the moment I entered the station? Worst.

However, you are also kind of annoying because you’re on your phone and we can all hear you telling them an exaggerated version of what’s going on.

“I’ve been down here for, like, twenty minutes and it looks like there’s no end in sight.” (boss)

“I don’t know, I was running late and so this actually kind of comes in handy so I have an excuse to tell my boss.” (best friend)

“I know, I’m worried I’m going to get sick again, too. It’s so cold down here!” (mom)

And now, the tie for my favorite….

The guy who is loving life while singing along to his music. Now while it might seem like this guy would be up there with the most annoying person in the world, he is actually the best. And this is because you simply cannot hate on someone who is either so oblivious or so content in their current place in life that they will quietly-to-audibly rap and/or sing and/or stomp their feet along to whatever amazing jam they’ve got working in their headset. This guys is loving his life.

Granted, you may be trying to figure out why he or she lacks such social norms or properly balanced medication, but let’s face it – you’re also trying to figure out if he’s listening to Beyonce’s new album just by the rhythm of his foot tapping and head nodding.

You, my happy, musical friend, are Zen-like and amazing and I hope you never stop singing. Unless I have to sit next to you on a 7 minute train ride and you become nearly impossible to ignore OR I can hear your terrible music through your cheaply made headphones and it becomes distracting to me while I try to find my own Zen-like state during my morning commute.

But mainly you’re just the best.

Happy Monday, everyone! 

Friday Wrapup

It’s that time again! Let’s get to it.

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So judge’s ruling on whether you think CB and I need to take a dance class prior to our wedding so we “don’t look like middle schoolers at a dance swaying awkwardly back and forth”?

First of all, that’s sort of the look I’ll be going for on our wedding day, CB. Thanks for ruing my flow.

Second of all, I was like “Um, that seems like a waste of money?” Except then yesterday I got a Groupon email that was complete with a month’s worth of dance lessons. So I was like “Ok, this is maybe one of those ‘the universe is speaking to me’ kind of things” and so of course I emailed Beth and was like “You and Matt should take Groupon dance classes with CB and me!”

Anyway, I then told this to CB this morning.

Me: “So yesterday I got a Groupon for a month’s worth of dance lessons in the city for $25. And we can choose, like, salsa or waltz or whatever we want.”
CB: “What?”
Me: “Yeah, and so I asked Beth if she and Matt wanted to do it, too, since you have your heart set on us not looking like weirdos when we dance at our wedding.”
CB: “That’s not what I was talking about.”
Me: “Wait, what? What were you talking about?”

But then I don’t remember if he answered because I got distracted by “Good Morning America” showing us a video of a dog running in his sleep and then I left for work a few minutes later and just realized now that I don’t know if we finished the conversation? It’s been a long week.

So…that was sort of a non-story. But also now I sort of want to take salsa and figure out what CB was originally talking about. I’m a terrible human.

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How on earth did I not hear of this sooner? A Beyonce-themed Valentine’s Day dinner? 

Me: “Um, Beth sent me a link to a restaurant in Cobble Hill that is having a Valentine’s Day dinner with a Beyonce theme.”
CB: “Oh God. Do we have to go?”
Me: “Unfortunately, they’re all sold out. But I think I know what I’m making for Valentine’s Day dinner now! I hope you like Blue Ivy potatoes.”
CB: “Maybe you should let me be in charge of Valentine’s Day this year?”
Me: “I’m so excited. This is gonna’ be awesome.”
CB: “I’m losing this one, aren’t I?”
Me: “Oh definitely.”

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This week’s book of the week is simply INCREDIBLE. I read it over the Christmas holiday at my parent’s house and could not put it down. It’s called “Unbroken” and is the true story of a man who literally went through more in his lifetime than, like, 100 men combined. It’s additively compelling, beautifully written, and honestly a story that every one of us should read. I PROMISE you won’t be disappointed by this one. I promise. So click here to read my dad’s spot-on review of “Unbroken” and then seriously go buy it.    

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And now, the Video of the Week! This one is brought to you by your one and only CB! A few days ago he told me about this band he found on YouTube and then we spent, like, 20 minutes watching their videos. They’re the real deal.

Enjoy!

Happy Friday, everyone! 

And then I became an abstract artist while drinking wine.

So last night I met up with some of my girlfriends to drink a little wine and paint a little picture. You know, as you do on a Tuesday night. 

And while I was pretty confident in my ability to not become a famous painter, I must say that it was way more fun than I thought it would be and also, I'm choosing to see it as a life affirming moment - affirming that I am, indeed, in my correct chosen profession and should not drop everything, move to Tuscany, and start painting landscapes.

Wait, unless they give me wine and chicken wings there, too. Do they? Then I'll consider it. Because I'm flexible like that, as most creative types are. 

Anyway, of the four of us, only Kate had done this Paint n' Drink thing before. Oh, and I should point out now that Kate is pretty much that girl who's good at everything she tries and we still stay friends with her because friends allow friends to outshine one another on a regular basis. It's called being supportive. 

However, the rest of us aren't too shabby, either. Natalie is creative right down to her bones, and Beth is not only a perfectionist, but someone who keeps her creativity to herself until it comes time to like, whip up a car/mermaid cake for her kids' birthday party (true fact) or paint a New York City skyline perfectly while being like "Oh, I'm not all that artsy." Whatever Beth. Nobody believes your lies. 

Oh, and let's not forget me, you guys. I mean, it's possible that within 90 seconds of the teacher telling us how badly acrylic paint stains your clothing and to perhaps roll up your sleeves and be careful, I flung my large paint brush dipped in white paint aggressively to the floor by accident, splattering it on the chair and maybe my hands? 

And so I was like "I'm pretty sure more wine is in order. Masters of their craft need to be inspired." 

We were off to a good start. 

So basically the way it works is that an art teacher is at the front of the class, has an example of what we'll be painting, and then walks you through it, step by step, making you feel like "who needs this teacher? I'm a natural! This sky is killin' it." And then you, like, can't figure out how to mix your colors without making a weird green color that doesn't appear in the painting and you're like "Where'd that teacher go? She needs to guide me."

And it's awesome. 

Of course, true to form, Beth and I followed directions to the tee - I mean, Beth more than me, because I get bored kind of quickly with any type of structured group activity and then I just start chatting with my neighbors to the point that I make Kate giggle while creating her perfect sky and she's like "I can't paint and laugh. Cut it out."

It was hard for me to be pulled away from my art, but I did it.
Also, don't look at Kate or Natalie's pictures next to mine. It'll
just make you feel bad for them that their talent was so obviously
out-shined by mine. 

And it reminded me of school when I'd be confused that my teachers would write "socializes excessively in class and distracts the other students" on every single report card. Because it sounds unlike me. 

Also, creative types cannot be put in a cage, people.

But while Beth and I were listening to every detailed instruction, Kate and Natalie became rebel painters and decided that they didn't want a vertical picture and turned their canvases horizontal. Also, they made the decision not to even paint a skyline! What the...they were going rogue and it was blowing my mind!

However, of course, they were very supportive of my bulky tree and pedestrian skyline and were like "Oh, your snowflakes are great!" Now that's real friendship. 

Of course, once Beth and I got home, we started wondering if we should offer up our works of art to the masses - you know, share our talent with the world - and hang them in the lobby with our apartment numbers and suggested retail prices beneath them. I mean, the doorman thought maybe that wasn't necessary, though I'm pretty sure he considered it. 

But the best part was when I got home, showed it to CB, and he showed me, yet again, why he must legitimately love me. 

CB: "It's like Van Gogh!"
Me: "Ha! Yeah."
CB: "It's like Picasso's blue period."
Me: "Right...."
CB: "Or like Monet's 'Starry Night.'"
Me: "Um, are you an art major or something?"
CB: "We have to find a place to hang it up! But we have to get it framed first."
Me: "Wait, are you serious?"
CB: "Yeah I'm serious, that's really good! Look at that! You painted that. That's impressive!"
Me: "Aw, you really do love me. Because this isn't good. I think it might have been one of the top three worst in the class, and that's a generous estimate."
CB: "Nonsense. We're hanging it up."

And so we will. Because love, apparently, is at least legally blind and I'm all for encouraging that behavior.

Suck it, Pollack. 

Happy Wednesday!

A Super Bowl recap by someone who doesn't care all that much about the Super Bowl.

In case you skipped the Super Bowl and/or were not in my apartment last night, here's a recap: 

That coat. Ok, so Joe Namath came out dressed like a PETA member’s worst nightmare and I was like “Wait….does anyone else see that coat that Joe Montana is wearing?” And then everyone in the room was like “That’s Joe Namath.” And I still didn’t know the difference but figured I was ahead of the game for knowing that his name was Joe.

Anyway, the coat got a Twitter following that was larger than mine after approximately 45 seconds, and so that’s gotta mean something? Probably that our society is crumbling before our eyes but we’re too busy creating Twitter handles for our pets and clothing to notice.  

Unnecessary Fluffness. (yes, yes I did.)

“This is a bizarre night.” I’m pretty sure that this was my favorite commercial. That guy was legitimately up for whatever - Bud Light was right! And he basically had the best response ever to Don Cheadle in an elevator with a llama.

That first play.  Don’t I sound sporty? For those of you who didn’t catch it, neither did Peyton Manning (burn). And everyone in the room exploded and I was like “Wait, what just happened?” and then after a few minutes of more exploding and talking to each other about what just happened, I said “No seriously, somebody fill me in.” And then they did. And then I nodded along because football makes zero sense if you only partially care.

I realized I’m super-old. So was it just me or did seeing an oddly buff and full-haired Anthony Kedis weird you out and make you feel old while simultaneously making you hum “Under the Bridge” while turning down your television because music these days is just so loud?

No? Just me? Moving on.

We deep fried everything. About a month ago, CB and I got a deep fryer as a gift and it was basically the best thing ever. Obviously. Also, it’s helped my wedding waistline tremendously and has encouraged us to think outside of the fried chicken box.

And by “us” I mean our friend Matt who started sending random deep frying requests via text several weeks in advance.

“Oreos?”
“Twinkies?”
“I want to try a deep fried pickle.”

So naturally we decided that a day of gluttony and football wouldn’t be complete without trying all three. Which we did. And it was glorious.

Except the pickles.

Matt: “I loved everything except the pickles.”
Me: “Why, what did it taste like?”

Pause

Me: “Like deep fried pickles?”
Matt: “Yeah, like deep fried pickles.”
Me: “They can’t all be winners.”

I schooled Betty Crocker. BOOM. Creative max reached. 

Happy Monday!