Wednesday, July 2, 2014

In which I lose my mind before 7am.

This morning, I woke up around 4:30 after dreaming that I was helping Tabatha (from “Tabatha Takes Over” on Bravo. Duh.) re-do a salon, as I do in my spare time, while also living in a dormitory made up of past co-workers who wanted me to go swimming with them. But all I had was one of those old timey bathing suits with the cap and I felt out of place and hip-y and so I declined and hid under the bed. As adults are known to do.

"I promise to only make you watch
one Bravo show per week....unless
there's a Flipping Out marathon on,
which will only count as one show...."
And so then I woke up and felt all weird and oddly awake and so I decided that this was the perfect time to work on my vows. Because CB and I decided we’d be all romantic and write them ourselves. And also because we are complete idiots. I mean, it’ll be super touching and will make me weepy for sure when we actually cry-say them to each other (I’m guessing CB will cry-say them, I will be the picture of stoicism, per usual). But right now, I’m just feeling stress-y that his are going to be way better than mine (because obviously this is a competition) and that’ll make me re-write them on the spot, which will likely result in super awkward vows that talk about promising to, like, not always make him high-five me in public or something. Actually, that’s not bad….

So anyway, I started jotting down some stuff on my phone, which lead me to realize that the woman at the Marriott never wrote me back from my last three emails, which found me composing a note from bed at 5:15 in the morning about a breakfast buffet and shuttle service, which isn’t crazy at all. And then I thought about a friend going through a tough time and texted her to check in, while remembering that we left the clothes in the dryer overnight and uh-oh, my cardigan that I wanted to wear with my dress will be all wrinkly, so I got up and re-dried all the clothes. And then I realized that I’d forgotten to go to the store and buy CB razors and get us paper towels and dishwashing detergent, and so I started making a shopping list on my phone. Which is when I remembered that I needed to follow-up with Bed, Bath, and Beyond because our balcony furniture still isn’t here, and come to think of it, that author I emailed last week never sent me his Table of Contents for a  book due this month, so I better shoot him a note, too.  

And then it was 6:15 and so I got back into bed. But not before turning the air conditioning on in the living room so it’d be nice and cool when we woke up in 30 minutes, and then I remembered that I didn’t respond to a co-worker’s email from the day before about a video, and so I watched the video and responded to that email real quick. And then I got into bed and did that thing where you talk to yourself about how much time you have before you have to get up, and you start doing quick sleep math, and then you lay there trying to count backwards from 7am and you’re like “Oh crap, I’ll just get up.” 

And now I need a nap.  And never did get around to those vows....

Am I alone here or do you guys do this, too? 

Happy Wednesday! 


  1. When you said Tabitha, I totally thought Samantha's daughter on Bewitched!

    1. Ha! That would actually be much cooler than what I was really referring to.

  2. I definitely do this ALL THE TIME and basically I'm pretty sure you're like my twin sister that got separated from me at birth.

    Anyway, on a slightly less creepy note.... OH! VOWS! My husband and I were like eff that, we're not writing vows, but then at some point we made a weird speech thing? I honestly don't remember, either from excitement or sheer embarrassment (I like being the center of attention, but not the only attention if that makes sense) and I started choking up halfway through and just waved my hands and stopped talking and motioned for the pastor to continue. I'm awesome like that.

    Also: Holy crap you're productive (aside from the vows, whatever).

    1. Hahah right? Still haven't finished the vows, so don't be too impressed....

  3. Sounds like my average work day. I start one thing and 4 hours later have started about 7 other things without yet finishing the first one. My timesheets are a nightmare.

  4. OMG I do this all the time but I call it 'multitasking' like when John asks what time I'm starting dinner or when I want to get off the couch, I tell him I am busy 'multitasking'. Works at work, too :)

    I'm seriously impressed about the vows; not sure I could write my own and John wouldn't be able to AT ALL.

    1. Well, we haven't actually done it yet, so don't be too impressed! May prove to be slightly-to-largely embarrassing. But I'm excited!