Brides Gone Wild

So, for weeks now people have been commenting on how calm I seem leading up to the wedding. That I don’t seem stressed at all and I’m the picture of a cool and collected bride. I mean, I’m paraphrasing, but that’s basically the gist.

Uh, don’t sound so shocked, EVERYONE, I don’t understand how you’d expect me to be any other way!

However, I think the calm exterior is my way of shielding people I love from the insanity that lurks just beneath the surface. The stuff that I keep close to the vest for just those special few (hundred) to witness. Because yesterday morning I had a moment that shocked even me, but only after it happened and only just a little bit. I’d totally do it again, let’s get real.

You see, ever since I got my wedding dress back from the seamstress, it’s been hanging all safe and secure in the closet of my friend’s apartment down the hall. And every day since that moment, I’ve thought about the time when I would FINALLY get to put it on and twirl around and become the best version of my true self that there could possibly be. Which obviously involves a very pretty dress, I can’t even believe I’d have to point that out to you guys.

But yesterday morning it’s possible that I may have gone ‘round the bend, even for me. SEE, universe!? This is what happens when I deny myself something that so clearly is part of my soul! I hope you’re proud of yourself.

You see, our friends have been gone on vacation for a few weeks, and we’ve been collecting their mail, watering their plants, and generally just being awesome neighbors. So yesterday morning, I dropped their mail on the table and went to use their computer and printer so I could make bulleted, printed lists of everything we need to pack for our wedding weekend and honeymoon. Obviously. That’s just good planning.

However, as I sat and waited for the computer to turn on, I could hear something calling me from the closed door behind me. I mean, I know that in general, inanimate objects don’t speak to you, but I think that rule is waived for brides? I’m pretty sure I read that somewhere.

So I thought it’d be a harmless little visit just to say a quick hello and reassure her (what?) that I’d be back in just a few days for the real deal. Which I really do think was a solid plan, especially since I was alone in someone else’s apartment listening to the 80s Love Songs Pandora station on their computer while making duplicates of lists and scanning important documents in case a giant barracuda decided to end it for me in Bali.

I've been practicing my
whole life. 

Anyway, I don’t know how exactly I found myself zipping up the dress and standing in the middle of an apartment that wasn’t mine, spinning around and feeling the serendipity of the exact moment when I found a full-length mirror and the Peter Cetera song from “Karate Kid II” came on.

I said I don’t KNOW! Quit judging me!

However, I think I pulled it together quite well, in the end. I mean, I did sort of stare and twirl alone for what may have been 10-15 minutes. That part is true. And I may have even contemplated just keeping it on while I worked on the computer, you know, just to make sure it moved alright and I could sit and stuff. That’s also true. (but I didn’t, which shows maturity and restraint.) But I totally think it’s normal to pretend to get married in the mirror while 80s love songs are playing in the background and you’re alone in someone else’s home envisioning what CB’s face will look like while he says his vows.

THIS IS HOW I HANDLE STRESS!

And it was glorious.

So, I apologize in advance to anyone who will be spending any real-life time with me leading up to this weekend, because there’s an insane intruder wearing a bustle who can’t be reasoned with rising very quickly to the surface of my being. AND SHE’S SO EXCITED! (and apparently yell-y.)

Happy Monday, everyone!