Conversations from Cohabitation

The other day we were watching "Karate Kid" and a commercial for "Titanic" came on.

Me: "See, it could be worse. We could be watching 'Titanic.'"
CB: "I've got news for you, we would not be watching 'Titanic.'"
Me: "Have you seen it?"
CB: "Yeah, I saw it when it came out."
Me: "Courtney and I saw it 7 times in the theater together."
CB: "Please don't tell people that."
Me: "But it's true!"
CB: "Still. That should go in the "stuff I keep to myself" pile."
Me: "Yeah, but if it were up to you I'd keep almost everything in that pile."
CB: "Exactly."

***

Uh, I got the confirmation email this morning from a very nice woman in Bali who has organized our snorkeling excursion while on our honeymoon. It included the following sentence:

"...keep an eye out for the resident school of jacks, bump-head parrot fish, blue spotted sting rays, harlequin sweet-lips, giant groupers and giant barracuda."

So obviously I sent an email to CB. The subject line said: "Um....." and then it was this screenshot.

***

While reading said email and simultaneously watching a terrifying clip on "Good Morning America" about a shark attacking a sea camera:

Me: "Um, it's like the universe is trying to terrify me out of enjoying our honeymoon."
CB: "You do a pretty good job of that on your own. You'll be fine!"
Me: "Um, the shark attacked a camera. It'd totally attack me."
CB, while walking out of the room: "There won't be any sharks."
Me: "But 'giant barracudas' sounds like a good time! They have teeth in front of their face!"

Silence.

Me: "And did she have to use the word 'giant'? I mean, 'barracuda' would've been sufficient."

Silence.

Me: "Also, I'm now going to call you "Harlequin Sweet Lips," ok?"

Silence.

Me: "I'll take that as a yes.

Happy Wednesday, everyone!