I mean, I knew the wedding would be a blast. Um, it's a wedding. You're doing it wrong if it's not. But the marriage was something I was sure would be filled with highs and lows and laughter and some tears - you know, a marriage. But a milestone I was never quite sure about was whether or not I would want to be - or could even be - a mom. Until my early 30s, I was pretty set on the idea that it wasn't something I was cut out for, nor something I was overly eager to try. I mean, from what I'd heard, you can't just kind of see if it works for you and, if it's not really your bag, just hand the kid back and be like "my bad!" And so it was something that always floated out there as a distant possibility, but never really occupied too much time in my day-to-day life.
Until I met CB. To be fair, I met him long before I knew I'd marry him, but even from early on, I knew this guy was going to be a great dad. It's just in his bones. He's got that way about him and it was something he was always sure would be in his future, too.
But then he went and married someone whose insides may have dried up already, and so I laid a lot of groundwork about my geriatric eggs: "You know, women in their mid-late thirties have a harder time getting pregnant, so maybe we'll just travel instead?" or "This is what you get for marrying someone who was born in the 70s. I know I'm alluring and impossible to resist, but my lady-parts might have closed shop already."
And other really sexy, positive things like that.
But he said "I do" anyway and we went off on our adventure into marriage with the comfort of knowing that we were in this together, whatever may be. And, hey! Maybe this biology thing would work out for us and, if so, Yahtzee! And if not? I've always wanted to go to Greece. (SPOILER ALERT: apparently you can have children AND travel, but we figured our traveling would be a lot fancier if a baby wasn't taking all of our money.)
Then, on a rainy, moody Saturday afternoon in October, I hated the smell of eggs, CB was insanely irritating, and I peed on three different brands of sticks that all told me the same thing: you guys made a person and sh*t just got real.
Hello, Baby Collins!
|You can't tell from the photo, but I'm wearing sparkle shoes.|
So do not fear, some things never change.