Conversations from Cohabitation

So yesterday, I heard a story about CB from about 15 years ago that I’d never heard before. And it was one of those that, had it happened to me, I would’ve told everyone because it’d make me a hero in the eyes of my friends. But because he’s him, he doesn’t share ANYTHING and it drives me nuts.

Fast forward to 6 hours after initially hearing the story and we were sitting in the living room, quietly reading.

Me: “If I were to commit a crime, I’d want you as my partner.”
CB: “Ok…”
Me: “You’d NEVER tell anyone. I mean, you’d have guilt and stuff, but you’d never be one of those people who, like, rats on a friend or tells someone’s secrets. It’s admirable.”
CB: “Thanks.”

Silence.

Me: “I love that you’re not even asking me why I’m telling you this.”
CB: “I’m guessing it’s only a matter of time before you’ll tell me, so I’ll wait.”

Silence.

Me: “So this was my train of thought: I was thinking about that story and how, if that were me, I would’ve told everyone. Um, it took an hour after hearing it and I’d already told Beth and Matt. And Beth said she would also tell everyone. And then I started thinking about how you probably didn’t even go home and brag to your friends in college about it, which would’ve been a typical college guy thing to do.”
CB: “No, you’re right, I didn’t mention it.”
Me: “Right. And then I thought about how you’d totally be the guy other guys could, like, kind of do stupid or even bad things around and nobody would ever find out from you because you’re like a steal trap.”

Silence.

Me: “And then I thought how, if we were to rob a bank, you’d totally keep that quiet. I mean, we’d never rob a bank, but if we did, I’d give it away immediately. I’d be like I JUST ROBBED A BANK OH MY GOD. And you’d just sit there silently. It’s sort of admirable and creepy all at the same time.”
CB: “Um…thank you?”
Me: “I’ll say more admirable, though. But geez, I married you and now I’m finding out that there are all sorts of fun stories from your past that you haven’t told me!”
CB: “Why would I ever tell you that story? It was about another girl.”
Me: “Uh, FYI, if I had anything close to that story to tell, I’d tell you about every 6 months just so we could high five about it.”
CB: “There’s something wrong with you.”

Happy Monday, everyone!