Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Baby (doesn't got) back. So I'm becoming an entrepreneur

So, other than getting peed on by a dog while trying to avoid getting peed on by a woman on the sidewalk in New Orleans, nothing very blog-worthy happened while I was away on business.

However, yesterday CB and I were out running errands on my lunch break and I kept trying to subtly pull my underpants up while keeping my outerpants where they were. Which prompted CB to pretend like he didn’t know me and I was like “But there’s something seriously wrong with all of my underpants!”

And then he proceeded to tell me that maybe it was time to buy new ones because we have this conversation ALL OF THE TIME, but then we forgot because I got sidetracked by trying to convince him that we “really really need” glitter holiday candles from HomeGoods (apparently, as it turns out, we do not).

Anyway, a few hours later we both decided that it would be beneficial to all parties involved if I invested in underpants suspenders, which I think is a genius idea. So I googled it, and one of the first things that came up was an ebay ad for Dog Pants Suspenders.

Obviously I clicked to see more and then was both entertained and saddened that they have dog pants suspenders but no underpants suspenders for humans who lack the back to hold up their undergarments.

This seems entirely necessary. 

And so now I’m going to start a new business venture and apply for a patent because there’s nothing that could possibly go wrong with this idea.

Happy Wednesday, everyone! 


  1. Ha ha! Could these suspenders also apply to tights and leggings? I spend half my day pulling those darn things up!

  2. Would they be full suspenders or would there be garters as well that just hook to the bottom of your bra?

  3. See, this is why I talk to you guys! I think hooking to your bra should be one design, and then for those who don't wear a bra, full suspenders. I better get a business plan in place....

  4. I will totally invest in these. I have this problem ALL THE TIME.

  5. I say invest in a pair of hanky pankys. They are the best unders around! the ONLY way they will fall down is if you're child-sized, or weigh like 80 lbs. Do not give up on your business venture though as this is a real product that real people (not only DOGS!) need! Love your blog, brightens my day! --Amanda, Chicago IL

  6. I have a friend who keeps her knickers up by twisting the sides of the waistband around her finger, then fastening the twisted bit in place with a rubber band. I keep telling her that she needs a short strip of elastic with a clasp on either end, similar to the clasps on suspenders and garters. Hook it up across the back of the knickers, and voila! No more sag! But she says rubber bands are cheaper.

    I had a brilliant idea recently, after our little feathered friend did a passable impersonation of Monty Python's parrot. I decided I should make some tasteful little flat-pack cardboard coffins for all the Tweeties, Fluffies and Nibbles's whose young owners insist on a full-blown funeral service. Unfortunately, two things stopped me. One, an engineer from New Zealand has already done it, and two, all the vets I spoke to said that they wouldn't stock them because they think it would deter customers. I see their point. I'm not sure I'd trust a vet with a range of pet coffins on display.

    Good luck with the knicker suspenders. I look forward to seeing the TV advertisements.