So you guys, I’ve been wearing yoga pants, showering periodically, and binge-watching “Kourtney and Khloe take the Hamptons” while CB sleeps and hopes he wakes up to a better wife for the last two weeks. I’m not proud of myself, but it’s what Becky on Vacation looks like. Also, she sleeps a lot. And doesn’t really cook much. And makes to-do lists and then decides that those are for when she goes back to work and “has to be productive.”
It’s a vicious cycle and I’m glad that January is here so I can get myself back. Except then I started to worry that maybe this is actually me, and the rest of the year I’m just pretending to be a responsible adult who wears pants with buttons and the actual me is someone who gives up and eats sour patch kids and knows way too much about Scott Disick. I’M NOT A WELL WOMAN.
Which is why I didn’t blog on Monday. Because going back to work was like being a bear whose been hibernating all winter and has to squint and find food immediately. I mean, more or less. I certainly ate like a pre-hibernating bear over the holidays, so the metaphor is closer than one might think.
ANYWAY. This is just basically a really long, run-on blog about why I DIDN’t blog over the holiday (but, c’mon, did we expect that? We know me, people) OR on Monday. But now I’m back. With not very many stories since I was asleep/in a food coma most of the time? But since we’re in the midst of packing, you KNOW I’ll have some stories for you in the coming days. Mainly because when I say that “we’re” in the midst of packing, I mean that CB is in the midst of packing and I’m more….managing the packing. You know “yes, please pack those books,” “Yes, you can pack those glasses but not those plates” or “did you pack my oatmeal? I’m hungry.” (that happened twice.)
I’M THE WORST. But I’m coming back to normal life, and so CB probably won’t divorce me before February.