Monday, October 15, 2012

And then I watched a guy free fall through outer space while eating my lunch.

So this weekend I watched Felix Baumgartner jump from outer space and, like, land somewhere in New Mexico about 6 minutes later.

Let's all get real. We'd watch this
guy basically, like, stand in the middle
of the dessert. No need for deployment from a
space pod. You're dreamy. 
Can we all just take a minute and think about that? In between watching some football game, while sitting on a couch eating a sandwich, I was able to watch a man jump into outer space and land on earth on a Sunday afternoon. Also, I watched him free fall through said outer space and start to flip all around as the camera quickly came off of him and cut to everyone in ground control. Basically, their expressions turned from “Yay!” to “Oh crap, maybe letting a man jump from outer space by himself and free fall at 700 mph wasn’t a great idea.”

Thankfully, though, that whole spinning through the air and not breathing thing apparently happens when you, you know, jump out of a pod into outer space with nothing but a parachute. And he’s totally fine.

But what struck me was that when he landed, he just sort of took his helmet off, looked around at the people running towards him with cameras and stuff, and was like “Yeah, so I just did that. I think I’ll go have a beer.” No grandstanding, no huge ta-do.

Unlike 10 minutes later when I was back watching the football game and one of the players scored a touchdown and proceeded to do some ridiculous dance in the end zone for, like, 20 seconds.

Uh, you just did your job, dude. You get paid to do exactly what we just saw you do. You know what? I don’t dance every time I send an email or get high fived every time I leave a meeting. Also, if anyone in my office wants to do that for me, that’d be great.

Which got me to thinking and so I brought this up at work. You know, because that’s a really good way to show that you’re a hard worker and have your priorities firmly in order.

Me: I think I could handle one of the following: being paid a million dollars to do this or being cheered every time I did what they hired me to do.  
Co-worker: Pretty sure neither of those two things will happen.  
Me: But that’s my point. I think we’re missing a really great way to boost morale!  
Co-worker: But you just said how much you like your job.  
Me: Right. But think how much more I could like it if I was wearing diamond shoes right now, what with all of the millions I’d be making. OR if I was constantly bowing and saying thank you when I got a standing ovation for walking into a meeting. Though that might get tiring after awhile.  
Co-worker: Are these really things you think about?  
Me: Every day of my life.  
Co-worker: And all because you watched football and a guy jump from space this weekend?  
Me: Yup.  
Co-worker: I think having your mind would exhaust me.  
Me: It’s my lot in life. But just think what could happen if I used my powers for good instead of just thinking of what I’d do with a house full of chandeliers!  
Co-worker: I need to meet your boyfriend and shake his hand. 
Me: I think he’d prefer booze. 

Anyway……happy Monday, everyone! 


  1. That took some guts huh? I cannot imagine the 1-2-3 JUMP! No freaking way.

    1. Dude, seriously. I hope he had on a diaper.

  2. I’d like to meet and shake your hand. I think a house full of chandeliers sounds AWESOME! Though diamond shoes sound a bit intimidating I bet I could totally rock some platinum tap shoes.

    1. Thanks! Uh, RIGHT??? A house of chandeliers would be so. cool. I'm sure the diamond shoes wouldn't be, like, everyday wear, but when you need a little pick-me-up? Diamond shoes!

  3. I kept thinking What if he got scared? Was he just going to crawl back into that pod? Then what? It rather scared me when he started spinning, then he just kinda stopped, how did that even happen?!
    As as side note, I think your diamond shoes would go well with my belt:
    Some Mondays just need a little bling to bring on the happy!

    1. Oooh love it!!! They'd definitely go GREAT together!
      Uh, and I totally thought the exact same thing. It was terrifying to WATCH, I don't know how he did that.

  4. I thought the same thing about that guy! He was so like "Eh, no big deal. I'm hungry? Who wants lunch?" It made him even more of a badass...