Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Why Elvis Costello, Mindy Kaling, and Betty White just won't leave me be.

Ok, so to be honest, I’m still sort of glowing from the love I’ve received over at BlogHer, and because I’m me and don’t always live in the world of reality and stability, I started pretending last night that celebrities totally wanted to be my friend now. Especially Betty White.

So of course I had to text Courtney about it to keep myself in check, but then remembered that she sometimes doesn’t always live where normal resides, either, and so then this conversation happened:

Courtney: When they pay you to do a cross-country road trip and blog about it, can I go too?
Me: Like Oprah and Gayle? Um, duh! I still can’t believe they picked one of my posts. I hope Betty White reads it. Do you think she will? In my heart, she’s reading it right now.
Courtney: Oh, she’s SO reading it right now. What kind of ridiculous question is that? Crazy.
Me: Totally. I should never have doubted her imaginary devotion to me.
Courtney: How could you. It’s like you don’t know her at all in your heart.

"Oh Becky, you always make me laugh so hard.  That's why
we're definitely not just friends in your head."
And it’s possible that after this conversation I started thinking about how everyone got Betty White to appear on Saturday Night Live via Facebook, and so that could also happen to me in the form of her discovering me on Facebook or Twitter. And then all of my dreams would be fulfilled.

But then I was reminded of a conversation I had earlier this week with another friend and started to wonder if perhaps living in your imaginary famous world all the time wasn’t the healthiest.

Me: I just love Jeff. And I think CB loves Zoila, too, even though he totally won’t admit it.
Friend: Wait, are we still talking about a tv show or are these real people?
Me: Oh, the tv show.
Friend: Yeah, it was kind of hard to tell because I think sometimes you blur the line between tv people and people you actually know.
Me: Yeah, I’m not so sure that line actually exists in my mind.
Friend: That’s pretty clear.

And I was this close to reigning myself back in, you know, because I’m an adult who spends no waking moments thinking about what outfit I would wear if Mindy Kaling and I went clubbing after work one night. But THEN I totally got stalked by a celebrity this morning on my way to the office and all of my rational thinking and logic went right out the window (where it belongs).

I know, right? It’s like the universe was sending me a sign not to plant my feet firmly on the ground.

Anyway, so Elvis Costello must’ve read the blog and wanted to meet me and “just so happened” to position himself right in my path this morning. And by “in my path” I mean that I’m pretty sure he dodged back and forth trying to avoid me trying to avoid him while I attempted to detangle my headphones. Instead, though, I ran directly into him.

"I totally want to duet with you,
Also, it’s possible that I yelled “You’re Elvis Costello!” at him as he tried to walk away.

Geez, way to be totally obvious, Elvis Costello. You could’ve just asked, I definitely would’ve given you a hug without getting you wrapped up in my headphone cords.

Whatever, these celebrities can’t quit me. It’s a blessing and a curse. I mean, I deserve my privacy too, people! I’m just like everyone else. Except sometimes I don’t have pants on .

Happy Hump Day, guys! Thanks again for all of your blogging support! 


  1. I can't tell you how many times I've done what you did... My mom has totally caught me giving answers to an invisible interviewer asking me about my newfound success and fame.

    Huh... now I think I know why living alone has been more fun than I thought it would be...

    1. Yes! I've done that too! I can't TELL you how many interviews I've had with Oprah.

  2. First, Elvis Costello in the street? Totally never happens in Iowa. We suck. Second, I've got this whoe Jensem Ackles, Ian Somerhalder, Potsy from Sea Shepherd thing going on in my head. I don't think it's healthy in there.

    1. It's a perk of being in NYC, that's for sure.

      But I love where your head's at! See, my blog readers totally understand me!

  3. Just remember, you are a celebrity to us, your faithful readers!

    1. Aw, thanks so much!!!! That's what matters to me at the end of the day.

  4. I would love to party with Mindy Kaling while she told me how incredibly funny and witty I was.

    Your imagination is so vivid! It reminds me of the time in 7th grade when I dreamt I married Bon Jovi and woke up and cried because it was not real.

    True story.


    1. Is it mean that I just laughed out loud? I did the EXACT same thing with Jordan Knight (not cooler). I just love being understood like this. :-)

  5. This might blow your mind. I have the same predilection for what some (haters) call "imaginary" celebrity friendships. One of mine is Jeremy Irons circa his Dead Ringers performance, natch. Well, about a month ago a friend of mine, who is frustrating logical and rational, had a dream that Jeremy Irons and I WERE friends. BOOM. Obviously some sort of "Fringe" type reality crossover is afoot.

    Also, reading the comments about dream marrying Bon Jovi and Jordan Knight made me spit take Saltines at my laptop screen.