So last night, CB was filling out a litany of forms for an
upcoming sleep study his ENT has recommended. This is something he’s incredibly
excited about and doesn’t blame me for at all. I mean, just because I was the
one who hounded him about making an ENT appointment for a year, sent him the
ENT’s phone number and address, and then cheered when he made the appointment,
doesn’t mean that I really had that much to do with it at all, nor can I be
blamed if the sleep study makes him hate life.
Anyway, since I’ve woken up one too many times wondering
whether CB was still breathing, only to be startled into complete awake mode
when he gasp-snores his way back to the light, we collectively decided he
should go get it checked out.
So, in a valiant effort to make sure he gets or stays
healthy, he let the ENT do all sorts of fun things with tubes and his nose.
This was followed by a referral to a Sleep Clinic, hence, the forms
he’s now having to fill out and the joy he feels about our relationship with
every passing day.
An added bonus to all of this, of course, is that I was
proven 100% correct and, I think, may have actually earned my M.D. last night
by sheer correctness.
You see, CB likes to tease me at times because I’m what some
might call…kind of lame. I like to go to bed early, wake up early, nap if
possible, and be cozy and sleepy on the couch in the interim. Wait, scratch
that – I don’t like to go to bed
early, it’s just that I must go to
bed early so I can function as a semi-normal human person during my waking
hours. Because, inexplicably, if I go to bed at 9pm or 3am, my body still wakes
up at 7am like clockwork.
However, without even realizing it, turns out I’m a Champion
Sleeper. See below.
(This is from one of
the pamphlets provided in the sleep study packet about attaining an optimal
night’s sleep):
Stick to a Sleep
Schedule
Go to bed and get up
at the same time every day, even on weekends, holidays and days off. Being
consistent reinforces your body's sleep-wake cycle and helps promote better
sleep at night.
Me: “See!”
CB: “Ok, but you don’t so much stick to a sleep schedule as you do just wake up at the same time every day.”
Me: “Um, that’s a schedule.”
CB: “But it’s not by choice. Your body just does it because you’re a freak.”
Me: “I just think my body is ahead of normal human science and intuitively knows that it’s doing me a favor.”
CB: “Yeah, that sounds likely.”
Create a bedtime
ritual
Do the same things
each night to tell your body it's time to wind down. This might include taking
a warm bath or shower, reading a book, or listening to soothing music —
preferably with the lights dimmed. Relaxing activities can promote better sleep
by easing the transition between wakefulness and drowsiness.
Every night before bed, I half-doze on the couch while we
watch the Mets, finally get up around 9-9:15 to go to the bed, put my eye mask
on my forehead, perhaps read a chapter or two of my book, insert my ear plugs
because of the gasp-snores, turn off the light, pull down the eye mask, and go
to bed. BOOM. Bedtime ritual. I’m a genius.
Also, CB can hardly contain himself on a nightly basis when
he sees the beauty that is my nighttime ritual.
It's a welcoming site. |
Get comfortable
Create a room that's
ideal for sleeping. Often, this means cool, dark and quiet. Consider using
room-darkening shades, earplugs, a fan or other devices to create an
environment that suits your needs.
I mean, it’s like I wrote this stuff myself.
Me: “This is uncanny. I knew all of this without even knowing that I was doing it right. I told you the air conditioning helps us sleep!”
CB: “It helps me sleep because then you’re not complaining about how hot it is.”
Me: “See? It works for us both. Plus, the eye mask? Darkness. The quiet? Ear plugs! Seriously, I’m sort of in awe at how spot on this is.”
CB: “I’m sort of in awe of the fact that somehow, even if we’re doing it all right, I’m still doing this sleep study.”
Me: “Because you might have sleep apnea.”
CB: “But I’m never tired, I don’t nap, and if anything, all of the things on the list of questions about how my sleep apnea might affect me doesn’t apply to me, they apply to you.”
Me: “Exactly. Your sleep apnea is affecting my sleep, hence, you have to do the sleep study to fix it.”
CB: “There’s something wrong with this picture.”
Anyway, I think it’s pretty clear that I obviously missed my
calling as a physician, especially in light of the discovery years ago that I
did not, in fact, miss my calling in criminal justice.
Happy Wednesday, everyone!
I think your logic is infallible. I mean, obviously you're the perfection of sleep. Maybe CB just needs to study YOU sleeping so that he can learn the ways of the master.
ReplyDeleteOh my God, that is the PERFECT suggestion! I hope CB reads this. :-)
DeleteWell said, Dr. Amos and congrats on earning your MD.
ReplyDeleteHaha thanks so much!
DeleteI need specific details on how you got him to agree to do this. My husband is a horrible sleeper and he is always tired and cranky. Yet he refuses to talk to a doctor and just the mention of sleep studies gives him the heebee geebees.
ReplyDeleteWell,I can't take all the credit. After patience (on my part) and some gentle nudging about being concerned for his health and wanting him around, he realized it on his own, too. So, I think it just comes down to if your husband wants to do it - I mean, I could never have MADE CB do it, that's for sure, so I think I just got lucky?
DeleteBut good luck!!
DeleteIf you are lame, then I'm the queen of lame. I even take naps at work!!! There is a special Wellness Room I use. It is awesome!!!
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome!
DeleteI'm so jealous of people who are able to just fall asleep when they want. I don't have sleep apnea, I have insomnia. I think I need an eye mask!
ReplyDeleteOh no! Yes, try an eye mask! Changed my life.
Deleteyour missing a vital part of your routine - it's the Mets that are making you fall asleep!
ReplyDeleteYou might be onto something there...
DeleteYou crack me up! And congrats on the MD. :)
ReplyDeleteHaha thanks!
DeleteMy husband has sleep apnea; he was prescribed a C-Pap (Constant Positive Air Pressure) and hasn't snored at all since! He says it changed his life. He sleeps much better and wakes well-rested!
ReplyDelete