Friendapalooza The Wedding: Part Une

As promised, a special Tuesday post! Plus, since it’s a two-parter, check back tomorrow for the exciting conclusion!

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Circa 2000.

There are moments in life that, as they’re happening, you wish you could freeze in time. Whether it be the moment you walked down the aisle and saw your future husband, or first held your child in your arms, or simply captured the most beautiful sunset on the most perfect summer evening on your way home from work. 

Or, in my case, a period of 48 hours filled with laughter and memories and mimosas. And some gas. 

We’re a classy bunch.

So as I mentioned last week, two dear friends got married in Washington DC on Saturday, and so of course a herd of us traveled into town to celebrate this momentous occasion. We also used it as an excuse to forget that there were parents and responsible adults among us and, instead, regressed back to middle school, when most of us met.

You see, leading up to the weekend, I’d been preparing CB for this moment, only he hadn’t realized it. Because before this trip, he thought there was only one of me: a distinct, unique oddity grown in Michigan and breaking the mold at every turn. However, what he discovered after meeting my friends was that I was simply one piece in a very insane, colorful, loud, crazy puzzle.

So as we drove down to our nation’s capital on Friday morning, he was trying to keep straight everyone he was about to meet. Because while he’d met the bride and groom several times, as well as a few others over the course of the last few years, he hadn’t met the rest – the people I spent nearly every waking moment of my life with from the time I was 11 until I picked up and made one of ‘em come with me to the east coast more than a decade ago.  And he certainly had not seen that whole package together as one unit.

Which, to be fair, can be quite terrifying.

Cut to: several hours and one open bar later and CB was singing impromptu karaoke with his new friends - and some strangers - as my friend Matt shouted out requests:

“Boyz II Men!”
“Color Me Bad!”
“Lionel Richie!”

Also, Matt has terrible taste in music, which is why we get along so well. That, and because when leaving the bar later that night, he and I sang every word from “A Chorus Line” while doing an on-the-fly, choreographed routine down the steps.

Obviously.

CB: “What are you guys doing?”
In unison: “A Chorus Line!”
CB: “Why?”
Matt: “Because we’re awesome!”
CB: “I don’t think that’s why.”

Anyway, something that should be noted about this particular group of friends is that we don’t so much talk in sentences as we do mainly short one-liners, long-understood sideways glances, and the occasional story from twenty years ago that’s so peppered with laughter that the general public has no idea what we’re talking about.

Which, if we’re being honest, is super-annoying to anyone who actually branched out and made friends after they were thirteen years old.

But CB totally held his own and dove right in, adding to the list of reasons why he’s a champion.

Case in point: Three Hour Brunch.

The morning after we all got into town, we decided to grab a bite to eat and then site-see before the wedding. However, we hadn’t properly prepared for the level of excitement over, and commitment to, a bottomless brunch buffet, complete with all-you-can-drink mimosas.

I mean, now we’d been given a challenge so we had to rise to the occasion, right?

So while Courtney and I decided that it was possible that bottomless mimosas would mean that we’d actually miss the wedding altogether, the rest of the crew went all in, and it was one of the funniest mornings/afternoons I can remember.

However, since the written word will never do it justice, I'll just pick out a few highlights to give you the overall picture. 

In no particular order….

• We became devastated when the waitress told us it was her last day. I mean, after spending an hour and a half with her already, she’d become quite important to us.

In unison: “Nooooooooo!”
Kyle: “Guys, she didn’t just tell us she has a brain tumor. She’s moving on to something better.”
Matt: “But who will bring us the mimosas?”

•  We left this comment card.

It seriously was. No joke. 

•  I actually thought this would take the focus off of me, since I was not toasting.

It did not work.

• We may not be mathematicians.

Waitress: “Would you like another mimosa?”
Tara: “Yes, please. Wait..which one haven’t I tried yet? The pomegranate? The passion fruit? Oh, just bring me whichever one I haven’t had yet. I’m an alcoholic, not an accountant.”

• We came up with creative ways to get our money’s worth. 

Kyle: “Ok guys, here’s what we can do. One at a time, over the course of the next few hours, we’ll each head back to the hotel, get ready for the wedding, and come back to hold our place at the table. Then, by the time we’re ready to go to the ceremony, we’ll be all fancy and we will still be able to drink mimosas and eat more bacon.”
Me: “I think that’s a solid plan. Plus, then we’ll be fancy-brunching!” 

• We decided that you could totally see four memorials in sixty minutes. 

Court: “Hey guys, it’s 1:30.”
Me: “What? But we have to get back to the hotel to get ready by 3!”
Tara: “Ok, we need a plan.”
Kyle: “Should the plan be that we just Google images of the memorials, pass them around the table, and order another mimosa?”

Shockingly, that plan didn’t fly. So we hopped in some cabs, did some sight-seeing, and still had time to nap, shower, and pretty ourselves for the Main Event.

….which I’ll blog about tomorrow – stay tuned!