Wedding’s can be strange. The mere mention of a wedding to some people literally turns them into hyper-vigilant opinion monsters who are willing you to have the exact wedding they wish they’d have if money were no object and they were Disney princesses.
I mean, it can happen anywhere and when you least expect it. For example, this morning I ran into an acquaintance who casually asked how wedding planning was going while we got our morning cups of coffee. I replied that it was going well, pretty stress-free at the moment, actually. You know, easy breezy, like I am.
And then she replied with a five minute diatribe about everything I was doing wrong regarding the planning and why I should really start thinking about panicking a lot since it’s “only six and a half months away!”
First of all, the fact that this semi-stranger knew more accurately when I was getting married than I did was mildly terrifying and simultaneously impressive. Second of all, it’s clear they don’t know me well enough to know that I’m more than capable of turning non-stressful-to-mildly-stressful moments into full-on mental meltdowns, so her advice in that arena was not needed.
However, I’m well aware of the fact that my seeming inability to get crazy over chrysanthemums is something somewhat foreign, even to those closest to me. I mean, we all know how I went about buying my wedding dress, so this time around when I went for my first fitting, Beth came along for moral support, to be the staff photographer, and to help me not feel like the devil when I mentally (and then sometimes out loud) judged people who were trying on wedding dresses that had lace vests.
First of all, I don’t believe I’ll ever get used to the idea of standing semi-naked in front of anyone non-amorously, especially while simultaneously trying to be modest by not boobing my friend in the head while leaning over to get into the dress. Sorry, B.
Second of all, trying on your wedding dress is awesome. I mean, it’s hard not to feel somewhat bride-y while standing there in a dress worth more than most everything else that you own. And it’s really hard not to feel bride-y when Beth is standing there tearing up while taking pictures of you semi-dressed saying “you’re in your wedding dress!” over and over.
We had a moment, you guys.
|Um, there was an|
actual Disney princess
getting fitted in the room
with me, you guys!
However, that moment quickly dissipated when I wouldn’t give her the every pose that she wanted “Ok, now turn over here”, “Now look this way”, “Smile for the camera! This is going to your mom!”
Also, it’s possible that after staring at myself from every conceivable angle for 12 minutes, I turned to Beth and we had this conversation in public:
Me: “I’m definitely going to need my booty bump in this dress, aren’t I?”
Beth: “You are the only person in American who would think of that while in their wedding dress.”
Me: “Whatever, I’m not wrong.”
Beth, staring at me from every angle: “Yeah, you probably will want it.”
Me: “I rest my case.”