Conversations from Cohabitation

While talking about staying healthy and getting older last night….

Me: “I mean, I just want to make sure that we’re doing whatever we can to make sure our third act is fun and productive. Because the second act is pretty awesome so far.”
CB: “What’s our third act?”
Me: “The last third of our lives. Like, the first act was 0-30, the second act is now until we’re in our 60s, and then the third act is the rest until we die.”
CB: “That’s a lovely thought…..”

Pause

CB: “Wait, how many acts are in a play?”
Me: “I think three? Maybe four? Except maybe I’m confusing that with sports.”

Pause.

Me: “But I mean, the better care we take of ourselves and each other now, the better odds we have of being able to enjoy our third act!”
CB: “Wait, but your grandmother is in her 90s. What act is that?”
Me: “Her third, I guess. Or maybe her encore?”
CB, laughing: “Yeah, it seems like your third act is a lot longer than the rest.”
Me: “If we’re lucky. Or maybe we could split it into quarters, like a football game? So either way, we’re in our second something.”
CB: “You’re just excited to get to your third or fourth quarter or act because your age will finally catch up with your sleep schedule.”
Me: “It’s true. I’m going to be the best older person. I can’t wait.”
CB: “Your sleep schedule will finally make sense and my old person vernacular will finally make sense.”
Me: “We’re going to be kick ass old people.”

Pause.

CB: “If someone had told me in my first quarter what was in store for me in this second quarter, I’d ask them to pull me from the game.”
Me, laughing: “I hate you.”
CB: “Pull me out, coach! I’m done! Hurry!”
Me: “Nobody in this house finds you funny.”
 

***

The other night I walked into the living room with my hair in a messy bun on top of my head, in sweatpants, no makeup, and an allergic reaction rash on my chest.

CB: “Wow….”
Me: “I know.”

Silence while CB stared.

Me: “I’m going to be your wife!”
CB, still staring: “Yes, yes you are….”
Me: “Sorry,  I didn’t mean that in a threatening way. I’ll go back into the bedroom now.”
CB: “Thanks.”

Happy Wednesday, everyone!