On becoming stalkers in Bali.

As my dad put it yesterday, “your blog Monday was really short.” And then I was like “I get my sense of humor from someone else. Plus I was so sleepy!”

But point taken.

However, as promised, we’re now on #4 of my top five moments from the Bali love extravaganza. Which I kept calling it and CB kept ignoring, inexplicably.

So let’s get right to it!

Putra. Now, some of you may not know what a Putra is, and that’s a damn shame because Putra is basically the best thing that ever happened to us in Bali. And we’re pretty sure he feels the same, though it was hard to tell whether he liked us for us, or because we were paying him to hang out with us. But either way, we’re pretty sure he’s going to invite us to his Balinese wedding later this year and we’re so excited to meet his whole family and lovely bride-to-be.

Putra, our fearless guide. 

Also, it’s possible that CB and I got slightly stalker-y with our tour guide in Bali and may or may not have creeped him out completely. Especially since, on our last day, we panic-booked a trip to walk around town with him (basically not kidding about that) and he “got stuck in traffic” and had to have another guide take us.

Anyway.

On day four of our trip we got to the second resort and decided to go on a morning walk through the village and some rice fields. And when I say that we decided, I mean that I got up and showered and said to CB, still in bed “So I’m going to go to the yoga class and then take the 8am walk through the village and rice fields. Do you want me to come back after and get you for breakfast?” To which we then had a 10 minute conversation on how getting up early is not in the honeymoon plan-in-his-mind, but also, making me village-walk by myself on our honeymoon made him sad-slash-feel obligated to wake up. And so, my solo patheticness outweighed his need to sleep in a king sized bed for two more hours.

Hence, we decided to go on a morning walk through the village together.

Which is why I repeatedly remind CB that my early bird-ness basically made our entire honeymoon worthwhile, because it’s how we came to meet Putra. Which I believe is the making of any great honeymoon when it is exponentially improved by the presence of a third person.

Anyway, Putra guided us and the other ten or so guests through the village, explaining to us fascinating parts of the Balinese culture, showing us the landscape, and generally answering every single question with a smile.

Cut to: one hour later when CB and I were like “So Putra, these are the other things we want to do in Bali. Are you busy tomorrow morning?” And then, of course, Putra explained how much it would cost to bring him with us everywhere on our honeymoon, and we were like “BOOK IT.”

So let me break it down for you: in five days, we followed Putra around to these places:

• An active volcano.
• A bike ride down from said volcano, through villages, rice fields, and right on over to his friend’s house for some fruit.
• A sacred temple.
• A Luwak coffee place where we met the animal who pooped out the coffee we later drank (as you do.)
• A local art dealer who sold us a terrifying traditional Balinese mask and mini Hindu statue for our apartment.
• One of the largest and most beautiful rice terraces in all of Bali.

Plus, Putra hooked us up with a trip to a local zoo so we could ride an elephant and feed a Bengal tiger and even gave us tips on good places to eat and drink in town.

Um, also, when Putra came over to where we were sitting poolside and told us that we’d been booked for our trip to the zoo the next day, both of us looked up at him and were like “Wait, you’re not coming with us?” to which he probably wondered how one takes out a restraining order on guests who are paying to hang out with him, but instead, smiled and said “No no, it’s all set through the zoo. Please enjoy your trip!” and then speed walked away because we’re weirdos who wanted to honeymoon with him.

But whatever. Putra was the man. And literally knew everything there was to know about Bali. Which I guess is what the definition of a tour guide is? But CB and I got quite attached while also starting a game in his absence called “Just Ask Putra.” Which is maybe not so much a game as it was basically what we did all day long with or without him by our side.

Like, we would see something during our trip and not know what it was or the meaning behind it, and we’d say out loud (not in his presence, because we did have some boundaries) “Dear Putra, question 15: why aren’t there sturdier brooms anywhere? People sweep all day and it looks exhausting.” Or “Dear Putra, question 3,877: how on earth do you get mail? There are no addresses anywhere!” (that one I actually did ask him and it was a fascinating explanation.)

Asking one of my million questions. While he holds my GIANT
purse and scarf. And I wear a kick-ass hat. 

 Um, also, we may or may not still play: “Dear Putra, question 9,000: where did CB put the rest of the folded laundry?” or “Dear Putra, question 27: why did Becky watch the Scandal premiere without me?”

So basically what I’m saying is this: my number four best moment from Bali was meeting one of its residents who may or may not still go by the name Putra in order to protect his own identity should we ever come back.

“Dear Putra: Question one million: Where did you go? We miss you.”

Happy Wednesday, everyone!