Growing up in the Midwest with my sister and parents, I spent Thanksgiving reading quietly by the fire, eating really tasty turkey and birthday cake, playing a game of Taboo or Trivial Pursuit, and calling it a night before the 11 o’clock news came on. We laughed, we ate, and we had enough quiet moments throughout the day to reflect on what we were thankful for and to, you know, nap.
Uh, I’m going out on a limb here now to say that no one in CB’s family has ever experienced a moment like this in their lives. Or have ever related to such a moment on, like, “Little House on the Prairie” or any other family drama that shows people sitting around quietly.
Oh also, just before Thanksgiving next year go ahead and buy a lot of stock in Moët – trust me. And you’re welcome.
|Speaking of holding your own, you don't|
even have to hold your own WINE in
this family! Also, nobody was actually
headless on Thanksgiving.
Anyway, this was my first Thanksgiving with this giant Irish clan and I must say that it lived up to the hype. Except that I survived, and it actually sounded as if I might not in the weeks leading up to the big day while various family members looked me up and down and said “No really…are you sure you want to do this?”
But I totally consider that a win for me because I’m pretty sure our relationship would’ve ended on Friday morning had I not been able to hang with this giant, raucous, insanely friendly, funny group of approximately 245 cousins. The fact that CB basically made me a family flow chart in the days before Thanksgiving gave me anxiety that rendered me unable to sleep for fear of forgetting which cousin belonged to which of his 72 aunts and uncles.
However, I was fortunate enough this year that I’d given his family way too much material to use against CB, therefore deflecting the attention off of me and letting it ricochet right on over to him.
I know, right? Girlfriend of the Year, ladies and gentleman.
You see, this little blog seems to have given CB’s family more than enough fodder to use against me, CB, and basically anyone else that is unlucky enough to find their way into one of my pants-less stories. Yet one in particular seemed to resonate throughout the sea of family members more than the rest, making its way to the Thanksgiving table as we dove into our green bean casserole.
Now to be fair, I totally knew something was up from the moment I walked into the house. While everyone was greeting each other, catching up, and basically just enjoying the day, I was being followed by the eerie feeling that CB’s Cousin Matt was being way too nice to me. He smiled, he hugged me, he said “Happy Thanksgiving” …
Something was definitely wrong.
I mean, when Cousin Nikki does that? She’s just being Nikki. When Matt does that? He’s up to something. And I was onto him.
Me: Uh, why is Matt being so weird?
CB: He’s being weird?
Me: Dude, he’s being way too nice. He hasn’t put me in a headlock ONCE and it’s been, like, an hour. He also hasn’t mentioned me eating in the garage. I’m telling you, he’s up to something.
CB: Nah, he’s probably just done giving you crap because you made it to Thanksgiving.
Me: He’s definitely not done giving me crap. I’m watching him.
Cut to: Sitting down at the incredibly long Thanksgiving table, saying grace, and digging in.
Me: Man, it’s really hot in here isn’t it?
Trip, sly smile coming across his face: You know, you’re right. It is hot in here. Isn’t it Matt?
Me, ignoring them both because I was distracted by food.
Ziiiiiiip. Ziiiiiiiip. Hoodies removed. And then it happened.
|Also not an actual headless person.|
Um, and photography isn't my strong suit.
I think I had one hand on the gravy bowl
when I took this.
However, in between laughter I think I may have heard obscenities coming from my left, which is totally weird because that’s where CB was sitting.
Also, he’s really happy to be dating me and watching our lives unfold on a blog for his entire family to read about on a weekly basis.
But let’s get real, you guys, he’s totally a Smitten Kitten and has been since day one. So let’s see how we can figure out a way to top that story for next year’s family Thanksgiving, shall we?
Happy Monday, everyone, I hope you had a great holiday!