And then I yelled at a total stranger and he threw my own shoe at me.

I was going to fake post today and make you read something from the archives since I’m being eaten alive by meetings this morning. However, I decided instead to share with you this quick story from my morning commute.

So every weekday of my life is spent in a false race to the top during my commute to work, along with every single commuter in the tri-state area playing the same game on the subway. We all know that the mere fact that we’re taking the subway means that we have not, in fact, won at life.

Regardless, there’s a hierarchy to subway riding that becomes quite clear:

Top: You got a seat
Middle-top: You’re standing, but have your own hand-rail to hold all to yourself
Middle-lower: You’re standing and have to share your hand-rail with at least one other person
Bottom: You are standing, don’t have a hand-rail because it’s too crowded, and you’re using the balance of those around you to keep from falling over when the train is moving

However, there’s one level of the hierarchy that doesn’t always come into play, yet I experienced the dichotomy first-hand this morning.

You have your own seat: Top. Also, you’re unknowingly stepping in dried, sticky coffee on the floor: Bottom.

Cut to:

Eight minutes later I’m heading off of the train and one of my shoes decides it likes the ride and wants to stay on, submerged in the sticky goodness of the dried coffee. However, I’m several steps ahead of it, slow-motion figuring out that I’m one man down in the shoe department, and so I turn and yell “My shoe!!!!!!!!!!!!” at three total strangers, completely giving my power over to them in a moment of despair and realization that I may actually be getting a foot infection from the New York City air while I balance on one leg.

Luckily, Quick Draw McGraw was on the train, bent over, and tossed the black flat at my torso as the train doors were closing, rendering him my Hero of the Day and giving everyone on the platform and the train a good chuckle on a rainy Monday morning.

You’re welcome, New York. I’m here to serve.

Happy Monday, everyone!