Conversations from cohabitation

Yesterday, we had a scale delivered.

CB: "Um, am I going to have to convert my weight every morning? Because that's a lot of math at the beginning of the day."

At first I thought it said 922, which made me laugh. Then I
realized that there was a decimal point there and wanted to
keep it European. Then, if asked, we could just say that we're considered
skinny in Europe.

Me: "Now I'll go weigh myself in the bathroom, because you are never to see that number."
CB: "You're crazy."

I walked into the bathroom and weighed myself.

Me: "Oh my God I'm huge!"
CB: "No you're not."
Me: "But I gained three pounds since I was at the doctor a few months ago!"
CB: "That's normal."
Me: "Let's call it water weight. It's also that time of the month so let's blame that, too."
CB: "Woah, woah, woah, TMI."

Me, picking up my phone.

CB: "What are you doing?
Me: "Googling 'what's the proper weight for a 5'9" female?'"
CB: "If your phone is smart, it won't answer that."

Me, getting my weight as the "norm."

Me: "Oh whew."
CB: "Can we move forward now?"
Me: "Ok. But you have to promise me that if I start to balloon up, you'll say something."
CB, staring at me.
Me: "I'm serious! Even though it'll make me cry - and it will - you have to say something."
CB: "Ok, I promise."
Me: "You rolled your eyes! I can tell you're not taking this seriously."
CB: "No, I promise I'll tell you. But I just want you to know that this is a lose-lose conversation for me."
Me: "I understand that."
CB: "But I'll continue to call you crazy."
Me: "I understand that, too."

***

Waking up this morning to GORGEOUS 60-degree weather.

Me: "Oh my God, you have to go out on the balcony and feel this weather."
CB: "Is it gross?"
Me: "No, it's gorgeous! It's autumnal!"

CB, stepping outside.

CB: "It's chilly."
Me: "Oh my God you're the worst. It's, like, the perfect temperature."
CB: "Yeah, for October!"
Me: "Exactly."
CB: "But it's August!"
Me: "Right! Which is why it's such a treat!"
CB: "If it were like this in the summertime I'd never go swimming."
Me: "I would. Also, you haven't gone swimming all summer."
CB: "And I would never get a tan."
Me: "You're not tan now."
CB: "But that's because I work inside at a desk."
Me: "Um, then who cares what the temperature is? It's been 100 degrees and you haven't gone swimming or gotten a tan. So it may as well make me happy and be 64 degrees."

Silence.

Me: "We're going to end up living in different regions, aren't we?"
CB, laughing: "Perhaps."
Me: "We'll be, like, the happiest married couple in America."
CB: "Living the dream."

***

Commuting to work I was talking to CB about some things I'd been thinking about that morning.

Me: "So does that make sense?"
CB, nodding.
Me: "Or no? It's ultimately up to you, I was just thinking that might be a good strategy."
CB: "Honestly, I'm only half-focused on what you're saying right now. It's 8:15. My brain hasn't quite gotten up to 'Becky Speed' yet."
Me, laughing.
CB: "It's like you wake up and your mind is immediately on and you're thinking about a million things."
Me: "It's my blessing and my curse."
CB: "You're my blessing and my curse."
Me: "It's why we work."

Happy Wednesday, everyone!