Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Conversations from cohabitation

Yesterday, we had a scale delivered.

CB: "Um, am I going to have to convert my weight every morning? Because that's a lot of math at the beginning of the day."

At first I thought it said 922, which made me laugh. Then I
realized that there was a decimal point there and wanted to
keep it European. Then, if asked, we could just say that we're considered
skinny in Europe.
Me: "Now I'll go weigh myself in the bathroom, because you are never to see that number."
CB: "You're crazy."

I walked into the bathroom and weighed myself.

Me: "Oh my God I'm huge!"
CB: "No you're not."
Me: "But I gained three pounds since I was at the doctor a few months ago!"
CB: "That's normal."
Me: "Let's call it water weight. It's also that time of the month so let's blame that, too."
CB: "Woah, woah, woah, TMI."

Me, picking up my phone.

CB: "What are you doing?
Me: "Googling 'what's the proper weight for a 5'9" female?'"
CB: "If your phone is smart, it won't answer that."

Me, getting my weight as the "norm."

Me: "Oh whew."
CB: "Can we move forward now?"
Me: "Ok. But you have to promise me that if I start to balloon up, you'll say something."
CB, staring at me.
Me: "I'm serious! Even though it'll make me cry - and it will - you have to say something."
CB: "Ok, I promise."
Me: "You rolled your eyes! I can tell you're not taking this seriously."
CB: "No, I promise I'll tell you. But I just want you to know that this is a lose-lose conversation for me."
Me: "I understand that."
CB: "But I'll continue to call you crazy."
Me: "I understand that, too."

***

Waking up this morning to GORGEOUS 60-degree weather.
Me: "Oh my God, you have to go out on the balcony and feel this weather."
CB: "Is it gross?"
Me: "No, it's gorgeous! It's autumnal!"

CB, stepping outside.

CB: "It's chilly."
Me: "Oh my God you're the worst. It's, like, the perfect temperature."
CB: "Yeah, for October!"
Me: "Exactly."
CB: "But it's August!"
Me: "Right! Which is why it's such a treat!"
CB: "If it were like this in the summertime I'd never go swimming."
Me: "I would. Also, you haven't gone swimming all summer."
CB: "And I would never get a tan."
Me: "You're not tan now."
CB: "But that's because I work inside at a desk."
Me: "Um, then who cares what the temperature is? It's been 100 degrees and you haven't gone swimming or gotten a tan. So it may as well make me happy and be 64 degrees."

Silence.

Me: "We're going to end up living in different regions, aren't we?"
CB, laughing: "Perhaps."
Me: "We'll be, like, the happiest married couple in America."
CB: "Living the dream."

***

Commuting to work I was talking to CB about some things I'd been thinking about that morning.

Me: "So does that make sense?"
CB, nodding.
Me: "Or no? It's ultimately up to you, I was just thinking that might be a good strategy."
CB: "Honestly, I'm only half-focused on what you're saying right now. It's 8:15. My brain hasn't quite gotten up to 'Becky Speed' yet."
Me, laughing.
CB: "It's like you wake up and your mind is immediately on and you're thinking about a million things."
Me: "It's my blessing and my curse."
CB: "You're my blessing and my curse."
Me: "It's why we work."

Happy Wednesday, everyone!



6 comments:

  1. Love your conversations. So cute and entertaining! It's nice you can talk about anything together! =]

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  2. You guys are the best.

    My husband and I are totally screwed with where we end up dream living together. He hates the cold and rain and fall which is my favorite season. He likes hot. Like annoying hot where I could never go outside.

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    1. Yes!! That's exactly us! I love the cold and he loves the obnoxious hot. Thank god he has other redeeming qualities :-)

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  3. My mind does the same thing in the mornings. And in the afternoons. And at night. Basically, I never stop.

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  4. I have fans. The Taller Half has blankets. Darn him and his dislike of cool to cold temperatures! He wants it to be like 75 - 80 degrees all the time. I prefer 55 - 60 degrees! Maybe I can just bury him in his blankets so that I don't melt? I dunno. lol But I feel your pain of CB not appreciating fall-ish weather in August!

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