Wednesday, August 21, 2013

The Ya-Ya Sisterhood just took their clothes off to hug.

So, I think I have to stop mind-planning my wedding for a while because I just came across an article where they were talking about the hip new thing for brides. And it gave me such a flop sweat, anxiety-inducing mental scare that I immediately shut down the internet and tried to time-travel back to when I didn’t know how to use my brain to form words.

Bridal Party Boudoir Shots, you guys.

What are bridal party boudoir shots? They’re a combination of everything in my life that terrifies me, which I’m pretty sure is the exact opposite feeling I’m supposed to have about anything related to my wedding day. Also, I’m pretty sure nobody in my life needs to see me cuddling my friends, nearly-nude, in an 8x10 matte frame.

So um, first of all, how does this conversation first occur? You just, what, approach your future sister-in-law and be all casual and chatty about taking your clothes off together on camera? Because nothing would be more terrifying to me – or CB’s sister – than having that talk. She doesn’t even like to be hugged, so I’m pretty sure she has zero desire to get all cuddly in the nude with someone she’s forced to become family with in 12 months.

I can't even, you guys.
Also, I can tell you right now that my sister wouldn’t even finish that conversation. She’d be like “Girl, get real.” And then start talking about vegan food or something and I’d recoil in the corner realizing that nobody wants to take naked pictures with me.  

Second of all, can we flash back real quick to a few weeks ago when I tried on wedding dresses? (click here if you missed it). I barely like to get naked for myself, let alone for a photographer who is there to take “empowering” pictures of me and my friends.

“Designed to empower women, these photos are taken for many reasons, including bonding and having fun with friends and [gaining] the obvious element of strength and safety in numbers.”

Yeah. Because nothing says empowerment like casually sitting around without my top on while a guy takes photos of me hugging my sister! Also, I’m pretty sure we’re bonded. We’re good. Keep your clothes on.

But regardless of all of that, perhaps we’re missing the biggest detail of them all, which is:

WHO ARE THESE PHOTOS FOR?

Because I have to be honest with you. I’ve never sat around wishing that the clothed photos of my friends and me at a club were actually of us wearing matching underwear bottoms and hugging each other from behind. So perhaps they’re meant for your future husband? I mean, perhaps if it wasn’t a photo of me, his sister, and my sister, it may have been one of CB’s passing thoughts. But I’m pretty sure he doesn’t need to ever actually see that outside of his mind.  

Or have it framed above our couch to share with company.

So basically I’m hoping that this is a trend that will fade fast, because I have a few friends who have yet to get married and I’m really in no shape to be in anything but soft lighting from here on out, you guys.

But am I alone here? Or have we all gone ‘round the bend?

25 comments:

  1. So, so incredibly wrong...in every way possible.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Good Lord! Not only do I not want naked pictures of myself, but I really don't need naked pictures of my sister-in-laws. They are lovely, but I don't need to have naked pictures of them. I don't even know how you even ask "so, what are you doing this Saturday? Want to get naked pictures with me?"

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wrong on a whole assortment of levels. When one of my good friends got married right after we graduated from college, a friend of hers had a ”lingerie shower” for her, and I was like, no. No, I am not buying my friend a red silk teddy or the like for her husband to rip off of her--he can buy her one, or she can buy herself one, but no. I ended up getting her a very pretty but I guess fairly conservative nightgown. I was pleased to see it hanging on the bathroom door when I visited her a couple of years later.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh holy crap no. NO no no no no. That's just so weird! Who wants their friends THAT involved? And whose friends WANT to be that involved? Maybe they can combine the lingerie party and photo shoot. Kill two birds. And keep the crazy contained to one day of crazy people.

      Delete
    2. My cousin is getting married and her mom and mother-in-law to be threw a lingerie shower. I wanted to die. Obviously, though, I had something to do that day so I can't really relate to what went on :)

      Delete
    3. NOooooooooooo no no no. Oh how I wish you could've gone! For purely selfish reasons on my part, of course :-)

      Delete
  4. I have no idea why anyone would want to do that with in-laws!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yikes! Thank goodness that was not the trend when I married the first time in 1967 or the second time in 1983!! Come to think of it, my maid of honor and I had been naked together with my husband-to be and his best man, but that involved lots of booze and a poker game....not anything I would have wanted recorded for posterity!

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is hysterically funny to me. Mostly because I can see myself and my sister looking at each other and going "OH HELL NO!" if someone ever suggested we should do this. We'd rather reinforce the bond we already forged over nearly 35 years of life by baking a batch of cookies or something, thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh, yea...I've actually done this. We used them on the save-the-date cards, and also as a background for the RSVP cards - because choosing what you're going to eat is just that much more appetizing while staring a group of naked women.

    Said no one ever.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Uh, this may be the most bizarre wedding trend I have ever heard. I didn't want a boudoir shot of myself for my hubby, and as much as I love my bridesmaids, I wouldn't really want a group nudie of us. Weird!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right?? I'm right there with you!!

      Delete
  9. Definitely not alone. That is so weird. And yeah, more importantly-who is that for?!?!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I could see if it was a group of ladies, say, from "The L Word"! ; )

    ReplyDelete
  11. I have no desire to see my sister in that kind of undress on film. None. I will admit, hestitantly and only to my good friends here, that maybe I could say that seeing some of the other bridesmaids in that .. kind.. of..

    Ya know. No. No. Never. And No.

    Ladies, even the guy who comes around here thinks this is a bad idea...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha it's always good to hear from the resident guy! And good to hear from you in general!

      Delete
  12. What?

    No.

    This can't be happening.

    What woman actually heard this suggestion and was like "Oh, yes! That sounds lovely! It's a totally classy, artistic expression of the bond we have as women, which is why I chose you ladies as my bridesmaids, because I can be so open and vulnerable with you all - like emotional nudity! SYMBOLISM!!!"

    And then the dudes were all sitting on the other side of the room going "Wait... that worked? HIGH FIVE!"

    ReplyDelete
  13. I know what would make you want to do this... to have your aunt from WA join you in this caper! Just kidding! I can just see you, me, your mom, you future mother-in-law and sister-in-law and your sister cozying up for a naked picture - never never never! We would NEVER bond in this theme even with unlimited alcohol. I think this is for the guy photographer, as no woman I know would think this was in any way a good idea or bonding experience.

    ReplyDelete