Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Conversations from cohabitation

So, I kind of forgot on Monday that it was Monday because I was one of those fortunate people who had the day off to honor someone that kind of did a lot of bad things and also didn’t actually land in North America? But since the Christopher Columbus poem about 1492 is maybe the only poem I’ve ever memorized all the way through, I decided to allow my company to give me the day off and also forget that it was a blogging day.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’m both lazy and maybe not as vigilant about genocide as I should be. But mostly lazy.

Anyway, sorry I didn’t post, but it was because I was busy having this conversation.

Me: “If you had to watch a tampon commercial or a douching commercial, which one would you prefer to watch?”
CB: “What is wrong with you?”
Me: “I’m just saying that you squirm pretty much at the sight of blue liquid on the screen or any mention of feminine anything. So now you have to choose.”
CB: “I don’t like this game.”
Me: “Choose.”
CB: “I don’t know, I just watched a tampon commercial a few minutes ago.”
Me: “So tampons?”
CB: “Yeah, I guess. But I really don’t ever want to watch that commercial where they talk about an uncomfortable feminine feeling “down there” for women of a certain age ever again.”
Me: “God I wish I would’ve been in the room for that one.”

Pause.

Me: “You know, just in the few months we’ve lived together, I feel like I’m desensitizing you to things like this.”
CB: “No, I’m just becoming dead inside.”
Me, laughing: “No, you’re getting in touch with your feminine side.”
CB: “I don’t think that’s happening. I think it’s more likely that I’m becoming like those guys who have been married for 40 years and just kind of sit there with that blank stare on their face. You know that look I’m talking about?”
Me, still laughing: “Yeah.”
CB: “Those are dead eyes.”
Me: “I love you, too.”


Happy Wednesday! 


10 comments:

  1. It could be worse... http://meganvenable.blogspot.com/2013/09/everyones-in-luck-youre-welcome-internet.html

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  2. I love the hump day commercial much more than any tampon or douche commercial!

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  3. I hate the commercials when the girls are all happy and rollerblading or doing cartwheels while they're on their period. NO ONE is happy that their insides are dying and coming out of a very uncomfortable place! I, for example, turn into a bloated crazy food destroying monster. So they should just make something more realistic.

    Like, "I'm sorry this is happening to you, but you're going to need this so..."

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  4. Yes! Also, I think you missed your calling in advertising. :-)

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  5. lol...that reminds me of a recent conversation between my husband and I.

    Me: "Aw, babe...our anniversary is coming up. Can you believe it's already been four years"?
    Him: "Nope...

    *pause*

    ...feels like a hundred."

    Such a prince.

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    Replies
    1. Oh my God, he sounds just like CB!

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  6. Okay, ladies, I think it's time to hold your men to a higher standard.

    I have bought tampons for my girlfriends and my wife over the years. I've been there when they've said they need X because they're cramping so bad. Look, this is part of biology. This is how women's bodies work and let's face it, gets tied to a product that women have to buy. So it's going to get advertised.

    Guys, man up. We got this.

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  7. Aw, poor CB... Although, I'm seeing a real opportunity for pranks here.

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