Conversations from Cohabitation

Last week while I was walking to work, Harvey Weinstein passed by me in a black SUV with the window rolled down so I could be all like “Oh my God that was Harvey Weinstein!”

And then I texted CB:

Me: “I just saw Harvey Weinstein! And he checked me out.”
CB: “Haha, that’s great. Watch out, he just had a kid this year so I don’t doubt his drive is still there.”
Me: “Ew. I can’t tell whether I should be flattered or creeped out.”
CB: “Both. He just had a kid in April and is married to a 36 year old. And he’s 61.”
Me: “You know an unusual amount about Harvey Weinstein.”
CB: “Some stuff I knew, like his having a kid this year…But the other stuff I looked up.”
Me: “And he thinks your fiance is hot.”
CB: “And that.”
Me: “You won’t find that on Google!”

***

Each weekday morning, I watch “Good Morning America” as I’m getting ready for work. CB used to sort of grumble about this as, for some reason, George Stephanopoulos bugs him and he thinks everyone is too cheery in the morning.

But today I saw him laughing at something my dreamboat Sam Champion was doing, clearly enjoying his forced morning programming.

Me: “See, you do like watching ‘Good Morning America’!”
CB: “It’s not bad…except for when they go outside and all of those people are screaming.”
Me: “You are one billion years old.”
CB: “Why do they have to scream first thing in the morning?”
Me: “They’re not screaming, they’re cheering.”
CB: “It’s the same thing when it’s 7:30am.”
Me: “You should just do what I do.”
CB: “What’s that?”
Me: “You should pretend that you’re a celebrity and they’re cheering for you as you walk out of the bedroom.”
CB, staring at me.
Me: “I’m serious! I sometimes pretend, while I’m walking around getting ready, that they’re cheering because I’ve entered the room. You know, like Ellen.”
CB: “Your mind is a scary place, woman.”
Me: “Join me, it’s fun in here!”

Happy Monday, everyone!