Monday, January 13, 2014

Magic Johnson is possibly my BFF

So yesterday I awoke from a nap to find CB standing in the doorway being like “You met Magic Johnson?” And then of course I couldn’t tell if I was awake-dreaming that this conversation was happening or not, so I’m pretty sure I rolled over and ignored him.

CB: “My mom said there’s a picture of you on Facebook with Magic Johnson.”
Me, sitting up: “What? A picture of me with Magic Johnson?”
CB: “Yeah. I mean, maybe she’s confusing it with something else, but….”
Me: “How would your mom confuse a picture of me and Magic Johnson with a picture of someone else and Magic Johnson?”
CB: “I don’t know, but you seemed confused so I was trying to make you feel better.”

Which was true. I was very confused and also slightly concerned that my future mother-in-law was making up stories about me and celebrities. Which, I suppose, is a good way to deteriorate if you have to because at least then I have a cool pretend life.

However, after promptly going on Facebook to find that I was, in fact, in a picture with Magic Johnson that I totally forgot existed, I was like “I’m concerned that there’s something seriously wrong with my brain.”

Insert: not-funny comment from CB here.

I can't even talk about my haircut, you
guys. That's for another place
and time. Also, did I think I was
interviewing him? I'm the only one with
a notebook in my hand. #coolest
Anyway, it got me to thinking: What else have I forgotten about that was potentially cool and/or life-changing that I’ve totally blanked on? I mean, it’s a fairly regular occurrence that I’ll be talking to someone who has apparently wronged me in the past, and one of my friends will pull me aside and say “Why are you talking to (insert name of horrible person here)?” and I’m like “Why, she’s great?” and then they remind me of those times that this person wasn’t great and I’d totally forgotten and so I just keep my friends around to hold the grudges I can’t remember. It just seems more efficient that way.

Or I’ll forget about something embarrassing that happened to me to the extent that it can be told as a story in front of me and it’s like I’m hearing it for the first time.

Example: there was this time several years ago when friends of mine were telling a story about a funny (and slightly embarrassing) event that happened at the gynecologist. I was laughing along with them and feeling totally sorry for that poor gal, when they were finally like “Um, you know that story was about you, right?”

No, no I did not.

HOW did I forget about this mild-to-moderately humiliating life event? I mean, to be fair, they kind of happen a lot and so I can’t be expected to track all of them. But also possibly maybe I have early onset dementia that began in my 20s?

CB tried to sweetly assure me that I wasn’t alone last night as we were falling asleep.

CB: “I forget things from my childhood, too.”
Me: “What?”
CB: “I forget things from my childhood, too.”
Me: “What are you talking about?”
CB: “I feel like I didn’t really give you a good response when you were concerned about your memory earlier so I wanted you to know that I sometimes forget things too.”
Me: “Like meeting Magic Johnson?”
CB: “Well….no….”
Me: “I mean, I met Magic Johnson and I forgot!”
CB: “It happens.”
Me: “You’re sweet for trying to make me feel better. But also, I’m sleepy. Shhhh.”

I’m a gem, you guys.

So you tell me – do you think I should be a case study for neurology residents or does this happen to you, too? Also, reference this blog in your response in case I forget that I wrote this later today.

Happy Monday!


  1. Maybe you should ask your friends (the ones who hold grudges for you) about your drinking and/or smoking habits of the past. That may explain the memory loss.

  2. Just think of it this way sooo many awesome / cool things have ahppened to you your brain can't hold them all. It's all about the spin. :)