Conversations from Cohabitation

Since today isn't just another Wednesday, I wanted to also share my post from last year on this day in case anyone is feeling a little reflective. Please click here for last year's 9/11 post.

***

Last night, I sat down to eat an apple and read my book.

CB: “You love apples.”
Me: “I really do.”
CB: “Are apples your fruit of choice?”
Me: “Um…I guess so? I mean, I like other fruit, but apples are definitely my favorite. But I don’t like raspberries because they’re too furry. And I don’t love oranges. Or cherries. But I do like blueberries. Bananas have that weird texture thing, so that’s no good.
CB: “Peaches?”
Me, making a gagging face: “Ugh, no. Oooh, but I like pears.”
CB: “So basically you like apples and pears?”
Me: “And blueberries.”
CB: “Strawberries?”
Me: “I prefer strawberries if they’re in, like, Cool Whip. Or champagne.”
CB: “I think that’s a given.”
Me: “And I definitely don’t like fruit for dessert.”
CB: “Yep, I already knew that about you. You've made that pretty clear.”

Pause.

Me: “What fruit do you like?”
CB: “Basically all of it.”
Me: “Bananas?”
CB: “Not really, but I eat them.”
Me: “Raspberries? Blueberries?”
CB: “No, they’re kind of too small.”
Me: “Oranges?”
CB: “Sure.”
Me: “Peaches, pears?”
CB: “They’re alright. I don’t like mangos or pineapple or anything.”
Me: “Um, so you basically don’t like all of it. You pretty much like what I like.”
CB: “I like watermelon.”
Me: “I like watermelon, too.”
CB: “And if it’s all together in a fruit salad, I like that.”
Me, laughing: “A salad of fruit?”
CB, laughing: “Yeah, you know, a fruit salad?”
Me: “I’ve never in my life seen or had a fruit salad.”
CB: “That’s impossible. Google it.”
Me, googling: “Ooooh, I want a fruit salad that looks like sangria.”
CB: “Um, that is sangria.”
Me: “Then that’s the kind of fruit salad I want.”
CB: “You know what?  I don’t like grapefruit, but my grandmother used to have grapefruit and sprinkle sugar over it and that was good.”
Me: “Well of course that’s good, you sprinkled sugar over it.”

Pause.

Me: “Judge’s ruling on the worst fruit ever? The tomato.”
CB, laughing: “I don’t mind tomatoes, especially if you put salt or pepper and mozzarella cheese on it.”
Me: “You really like to make your fruit bad for you.”

Pause.

Me: “We just spent a really long time talking about fruit.”
CB: “We really did.”

***

This morning, I was watching a news story on a Chobani Green Yogurt recall.

Me: “I’m going to die!”

Silence.

Me, to Oliver, the cat: “I’m going to die and he doesn’t care.”

Oliver, ignoring me for his cardboard box.

Me, louder: “I’m going to die!”

Silence.

Then I walked into the bedroom.

CB: “Why are you going to die?”
Me: “Because there’s a recall on certain Chobani Greek Yogurt. Which I eat every day! And I checked the expiration date and it falls in line with the ones they’re recalling.”
CB: “Why are they recalling it?”
Me: “Because of some kind of mold.”
CB: “You’ll be fine.”
Me: “How will I be fine if I eat mold?”
CB: “Eh, a little mold is good for you. Builds up your immunity.”
Me: “Um, I won’t need an immune system if I’m dead.”
CB: “You’re being very dramatic.”
Me: “You’ll be sad when I’m dead.”
CB: “I’ll take my chances.”

Have a great Wednesday, everyone!