Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Conversations from Cohabitation.

This text exchange happened last night after I’d gone to bed and CB was in the other room reading:


Me: I was just thinking about my celebrity list and I think you’ll be happy to know that George Clooney has gotten bumped for Matt Harvey.
CB: I’ll sleep better at night.
Me: I thought you would. I mean, this is a real changing of the guards. Clooney has been a staple for at least 15 years. When Matt Harvey was around 10. Which makes me dirty, I do realize.
CB: Your list will get younger as the people on it get older.
Me: But that makes me a dirty old lady. The others on my list are all respectably in their 30s or 40s. I’m not David Wooderson.
CB: You are wasting your list if there are people in their 40s on it. David who?
Me: Uh, Dazed and Confused: “I keep getting older and they stay the same age.” (I’m paraphrasing, but you get the gist.) Also, it’s never a waste when you’re talking about Ben Affleck.
CB: Oh, sorry, forgot his name.
Me: I forgive you.
CB: Wonderful. Have pleasant dreams about Ben but watch out, Matt Damon might sneak into the dream.
Me: Never. I have standards.
CB: I hope so!!!
Me: Also, I take this to mean that you’d prefer I stop texting you from the bedroom so you can get back to not having this conversation from 20 feet away?
CB: It’s possible. I also don’t want to interrupt your list thoughts.
Me: This is why we work. Good night!

***

So over the weekend I decided to conquer my fears and agree to go snorkeling with CB on our honeymoon. Hours after this decision, we were laying on the couch watching tv and a commercial came on selling a dating site aimed at people over 55 years old.

Me: “I hope we get to grow old together.”
CB: “Me too.”

Pause.

CB: “Or die in a firey blaze of glory together if we don’t.”
Me: “Totally.” (high five).

Pause.

Me: “Maybe while snorkeling in the Indian Ocean.”
CB: “I’d prefer to make it just a tad longer.”

Pause.

CB: “Maybe on the flight home.”
Me: “Oh, that’s long enough for you, is it?”
CB: “Well, the fun part will be over.”
Me: “I think we just wrote our wedding vows. This turned dark very quickly.”


Happy Tuesday, everyone! 

7 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHHA you guys are too funny. Also I'm jealous that CB even responded to your text from 20 feet away. My husband would never -- I like to call him on the way home and have to sneak up to the front door or he'll just hang up on me when he knows I'm that close.

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    1. Hahaha I'm sure it's not his favorite, but he indulges me. I text him from bed at least once a week. Sometimes to say goodnight, which bothers him the most since...could I be lazier?

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  2. Love that you two have matching humorous viewpoints!

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  3. "Maybe on the flight home." and "well, the fun part would be over" haaaaaaa! Awesome! The older I get, the shorter my list gets, I don't know who any of these younger guys are, and when I do see a cute younger one, I think, omg I'm a pedophile! I stick to my faves. George Clooney, and random news anchors along with some athletes. I'm a sucker for Jonathan Toews. (dirty-I'm 39!!) Love your posts, keep at it :) --Amanda

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    1. Ha, I totally understand!!! I'm the same way. I only know 25 year old Matt Harvey b/c he's a Mets pitcher and we literally watch baseball every single day. So, gives me something to do! :-)

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    2. At least you get to see him every day! My fave AJ is on the Red Sox now and I RARELY see him :( That's why I love the baseball crushes, baseball season is a long one, and there are sooooo many games! And Patrick Sharp and baby Toews are only around for another month (fingers crossed!) At least I still have my Suppelsa, he's on the news twice a day :) ---Amanda

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