Josephina Goes to the Jersey Shore

For those of you who have been reading with any regularity over the last year, you’re quite familiar with my boyfriend’s alter-ego here on the blog, CB. I mean, it’s gotten to the point where, in real life, everyone from my father to his friends refer to him by that name, on occasion, which obviously makes him super-happy.

But whatever, he totally won out. He comes across as the most level-headed, down-to-earth voice of reason to my obviously editorialized head-in-the-clouds, charmingly clumsy “character.”

So when it was brought to my attention this weekend that I, too, have an alter-ego, I was pretty excited that she’d be this high-powered superwoman who, like, conquers the world with her charm while also sometimes eating chocolate chip cookies. So basically, me, but with a cape?

However, it turns out that Josephina -  my alter-ego - is basically me but…worse? Yeah.

You see, a while back, a crowd of CB’s family and friends were sitting around reminiscing and laughing about dumb stuff they did in high school and college. Stories filled with intrigue and varying degrees of nefarious activities. All things that I, of course, didn’t ever partake in because I was too busy watching My So-Called Life with my dad and wondering if anyone like Jordan Catalano would ever grace the Farmington High hallways.

So when someone mentioned something about a “Josephina ID,” I just figured that this was yet another teenage pastime in Jersey that I failed to experience in my apparently sheltered Midwestern upbringing.

Also, “Josephina ID” isn’t what they said at all. But it’s what I heard, which lead to this unfortunate moment.

Me: “Wait, what’s a ‘Josephina ID’? Is that some sort of Jersey thing that I don’t know about?”

And then the room went silent….just before erupting into laughter that nearly shook the entire house.

So, throughout the months, someone would randomly bring up the “Josephina ID” moment to remember just how hilarious it was that I am sometimes completely clueless, leading to good times had by all.

However, this weekend, Josephina put down roots; she’s here to stay.

You see, we were hanging out at the shore with CB’s family and friends, talking and laughing and drinking wine. I mean, what else is there to do when it’s 50 degrees and raining?

And then this happened:

CB’s mom: “…and we have this Dummy wine, too, just in case.”
Me, excitedly: “Mmm, there’s gummy wine?”
Jen, without missing a beat: “Well, Josephina has arrived!”

And, again, the room erupted into laughter.

However, let’s get real – I’m going to patent that stuff and make a fortune. Who’s laughing NOW? Gummy candy infused with wine? Genius. And maybe a little bit dangerous? But mostly genius.

Luckily, I'm really good
at masking who I am .

Anyway, as the weekend progressed, it became clear that Josephina tends to hang out just at the surface of my personality, popping up at times when it’s usually kind of quiet and everyone in CB’s family is listening and staring at me. 

Which, of course, makes CB endlessly proud and never leads him to question whether he’s ready to take the next step and move into the apartment we don’t have together yet.

However, when I thought about it, I realized that Josephina had been around for years, long before CB’s family ever decided to name her.*

Example:

While watching “Who’s the Boss” with Beth in college (see? We were insanely cool.)

Me, completely seriously: “Beth?
Beth: “Yeah?”
Me: “Who do you think the boss is?”
Beth: “What?”
Me: “The boss, on ‘Who’s the Boss.’ I mean, everyone would assume it’s Angela, because she’s the actual boss of Tony. But Mona is totally the boss of Angela, plus, she found Tony. But then Tony is the boss of the house in an actual sense, because he runs the show. For sure it’s not Daniel Pintaro. But it could be so many of them!”
Beth: “I can’t believe this is an actual conversation.”

Exmaple:

While driving down the highway in high school/early college, we passed a few signs for “Catabwa Is.”

Me: “Jason…what is Catabwa?”
Jason: “What?”
Me: “We keep passing these signs that say ‘Catabwa Is.’ Why don’t they just tell us already?”
Jason: “Seriously?”
Me: “Yes!”
Jason: “The ‘Is’ is an abbreviation for ‘Island.’”
Me: “Oh my God, that makes so much more sense than what was happening in my head.”
Jason: “It usually does.”

And there you have it.  Happy Wednesday, everyone!

*Believe it or not, I function at quite a high level during my day-to-day life. I just have, shall we say, “Josephina Moments.” Kind of like “Pulling a Monica,” but cooler.