Tuesday, August 14, 2012

I'm a very busy celebrity, please stop asking me out all the time, RYAN.

I think I’m being carbon monoxide poisoned. To be fair, it’s not just me, we’re all convinced it’s happening slowly. It’s possible that we are just looking for something else to complain about since they finally fixed the heat/no air conditioning situation. But for real, guys, I’m pretty sure I won’t be with you in a few days because we googled “symptoms of carbon monoxide poisoning” the other day and for sure I’m being poisoned:

Symptoms of Carbon Monoxide Poisoning
Shortness of breath

I think it’s important to note that these symptoms could also be associated with allergies and the flu. But for sure we don’t have either of those problems because that’s much less dramatic and we all know I don’t play the low drama game.

Also, we’re incredibly busy at work.

Oh! And I’m a celebrity. So, if you want to start referring to me that way to your friends and family, I totally understand and actually kind of insist upon it. Also, Betty White, I’m waiting for your call.

Call me. Also, I think you maybe stole my cat.

One of my blogging inspirations visited this site and told me it was awesome! Actual quote from someone I stalk on a daily basis:

I'm never going to stop blogging. It's what keeps me sane. You shouldn't stop either. Just checked yours out. Awesome.

The end. Mission accomplished. I will now accept piles of money and notoriety. And I will immediately start complaining about all of the unwanted attention that I’m getting AND will accept suggestions for my new branding name (i.e. Brangelina, Bennifer, etc.) Granted, I’m only one person, but there are multiple versions of me living within my mind, so I’m sure we can all mesh together to be one celebrity brand.

I want a ridiculous celebrity name for our love.

Also, thanks to all of you who have voted so far – looks like there’s a pretty clear frontrunner, but I’m still taking votes until the end of the week!

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